Soul Searching

Its been a long time since I posted my last entry. But I do have an explanation.
I was involved in a road accident. This blog entry is dedicated to the incident.

It was just another typical Thursday evening...typical as in just your average,
ordinary, nothing out of the usual middle of the week. My 6 weeks industrial training was finally over and I was quite happy. Joyous, I thought I might as well take my
scooter out for a ride...meet my friends, catch up on the latest happenings
in the neighbourhood etc. At this point I must elaborate that I am a careful rider.
Occasionally, I might try a few stunts but not when there is traffic around. Helmet is a must for me. Doing an easy 50 KM/Hr, I was riding within that yellow line on the road marked for two wheelers. Suddenly, I realized the autorickshaw in front of me had stopped moving. I tried my best to avoid it, but a vehicle in the next lane prevented me from changing lanes. It had rained a few hours ago and the moisture in the air took care of the brakes. The brakes took a fraction of a second more to work. But a fraction of a second was too late!

The rest is sort of a blur. Although I was standing and talking sensibly, the shock
was overwhelming. Injuries I had one, A deep gash on my left arm from a shrapnel. I rushed to my friend's house located nearby, called my dad and went to the Dispensary.
Dad came over and after I was bandaged we went to have a look at the scooter. It was wrecked beyond repair. The chassis had been flattened by the force of the impact.
It seemed doubtful that anyone could have survived the crash. But I had!

The whole night I was tossing and turning in bed, the images of the accident kept
rolling in my mind as if in an infinite loop. Everyone who had seen the accident or the remains of the scooter had just one thing to say; it was nothing less than a miracle that I had escaped with just a cut on my arm. You know, such statements don't
actually raise morale. They made me even more frightened.

The accident had happened last Thursday. One week later, I'm still in shock. I still get the same nightmare. Night after night. Not a day passes without me pondering over it. I ponder, contemplate, think it all over again and again. I'm scared. What if I hadn't been so lucky?

Then again...I go deeper...
What is the purpose of my existence? Are we put here on this lonely planet for a reason? What is the meaning of Life, Universe and Everything?

I haven't talked to anyone about how I have been feeling. Neither friends nor family. I do sound paranoid, Don't I? Then again, I have started to realize that 100 years from
now, it won't matter who I was. What matters is the present. If I put a smile on a face
that had none, I guess my purpose in life will be fulfilled. I guess...