A long long time ago

Once upon a time in a land not so unfamiliar, there was a 19 year old computer engineering student who had no clue where his life was headed. He just happened to attend a meeting for volunteers for an upcoming event by a society. The organizers were asking for volunteers and he was wondering whether he should have gone to have lunch instead. After much hesitation, he raised his hand. The rest, as they say, is history. If you haven't heard this story, please wait for my autobiography to come out.

Most people have trouble believing the fact that I was the President of ISTE (Indian Society for Technical Education) in my college.

A lot of batchmates from my school are now my friends on Facebook. It's a different matter that the only time we write anything on each other's wall is to write birthday greetings. I talked to some of them and their initial reaction was "Are you the same person? The Anurag in our class was very quite and reserved. He never talked unless spoken to. And you... you are just the opposite" (quoted verbatim without permission).

So, what could have brought about this change? Just an astute observation: chicks dig confident guys. Being a person who likes to see things from the sidelines, I decided it was time to take matter into my own hands. Yes, it was hard. Whenever I was stuck in a rut, I would ask myself: What would Shahrukh Khan do?

Yeah. The last paragraph is not true. The actual event that changed my life happened just before the beginning of my third year of college. I had just completed summer training and was raring to get back to college as the average, ordinary joe. And then, $#!T happened...

For the sake of continuity, I've put a link to the earth-shattering event here.

And what is the puspose of this post. Simply put, I had forgotten why I behave the way I do. As doubts crept in, I had started to question my ethics (or whatever's left of them). After reading that entry, everything became clear.

A Gentle Reminder

It’s been exactly two years since eleven men held an entire city hostage. Only one of them is assumed to be alive, currently spending his life in luxury in Jail. For two years, he has said everything that a movie director can ask from his writers. “I came to Mumbai because I wanted to become an actor”, “They are targeting me because I’m muslim” and whole truck-load of non-sense.

 

For two years the common man has been paying for his security. Dear government, please let him go. Set him free. Deport him back to Pakistan. What’s the use of this charade when nobody’s interested. He will not suffer in jail. People from Amnesty and Human Rights Commission will make sure of that.

 

If you don’t have the guts to hang him, please stop wasting the public’s money. The Common “Wealth” is already depleted because a few people like playing games. Besides, the media is no longer the neutral friend of the people. Big shot reporters are too busy acting as touts for political parties.

Kya hoga iss desh kaa?

 

Brain Vs Girlfriend

Akash was waiting for his love ....
 
"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"
"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff .... oh there she is"
"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.
"OK I will try"
 
Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "I’m sorry honey .. I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"
 
"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
 
Akash ignored his brain "It’s OK honey! its only half an hour. No problem."
 
She smiled once again, held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what occasion is today"
"OMG!!!", thought Akash...
"Brain... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I don’t care about"
Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different parts
parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete memory scan.
 
Sheetal stared at Akash .... "Hello!! you have been staring at me for 2 minutes now ... you OK?"
"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"
"No records found", said the brain ...
"Da**mn!!", thought Akash
"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.
Akash is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?".. said the brain
"OK OK ...stop pushing me"
"Honey .. U know my lousy memory.. I guess I can’t recall what today is"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she shouted ... and started crying.
"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A moment of silence.
His entire brain staff was laughing at him.
Akash was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.
"Damage control sequence initialized ... don’t worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
"Better do it fast ..brainy"
The brain was working at 90% capacity .... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle women?'
Finally an answer was computed and communicated to Akash.
He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggy's birthday .. how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"
She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ........ Doggy is the name of my cat you je**rk!!!"
She stood up angrily and left.
Akash and his brain were left there clueless.

 

Over to Bangalore

It’s been a long time since I posted anything on my Blog. But then, a software engineer without a laptop and a Wi-Fi connection can do very less...except blog during company hours. Now why would a software engineer do that? Probably because he's lost.

 

My stay in Infy has been like a dream. Five months training in the lush green campus of Mysore DC, recruitment into one of the best groups in Infy; Knowledge Management (KM), shifting base to the IT hub of India, finding a new family within the team et al. A lot happened in the past few months that has changed my perspective towards life - maybe for the better (or worse?)

 

It has been almost 6 months since I last saw my family. I did have a few video-conferences with them in a cyber-cafe - but it's not the same thing. I had made a lot of friends in Mysore. Now I'm in Bangalore and they are spread across the length and breadth of the country. And maybe for the first time in my life, I'm feeling lonely. The people in KM have done their best to make me feel right at home - but I still miss everyone.

 

Thanks to some unfortunate series of events, I can only go home at Diwali (which is in the first week of November). Till then, I have to find my way in this congested city of lost techie souls they call "Bengaluru". Being from Chandigarh and knowing zilch about south Indian food/culture also doesn't help. Life has become all about "Eat, sleep, study, code, grumble...". Poor small town guy adjusting to the big city life is beginning to question his motive for leaving home in the first place.

 

This is just an update.

 

PS. I'm in a sad mood right now. I will tell you how awesome KM is when I'm back in my groove.

 

This is why I didn't take up GRE

Have you tried to give the paper for GRE? This is what happens when you study too hard:

 

 

A Normal Person: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GRE Student: Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.


Normal person: Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GRE Student: Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.


Normal Person : All that glitters is not gold.
GRE Student: All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

 

Normal Person: Beggars are not choosers
GRE Student: Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.


Normal Person: Dead men tell no tales
GRE Student: Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

 

Normal Person: Beginner's luck
GRE Student: Neophyte's serendipity.

 

Normal Person: A rolling stone gathers no moss
GRE Student: A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

 

Normal Person: Birds of a feather flock together
GRE Student: Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

 

Normal Person: Beauty is only skin deep
GRE Student: Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

Normal Person: Cleanliness is godliness
GRE Student: Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

 

Normal Person: There's no use crying over spilt milk
GRE Student: It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.

 

Normal Person: You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks
GRE Student: It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

 

Normal Person: Look before you leap
GRE Student: Surveillance should precede saltation.

 

Normal Person: He who laughs last, laughs best
GRE Student: The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

 

Normal Person: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GRE Student: Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.    

 

Normal Person: Where there's smoke, there's fire!
GRE Student: Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.  

 

 

And that’s why I did not take up GRE!

 

The State of the Republic

The sovereign, socialist, democratic nation of India adopted its constitution on 26 November, 1949 and began commemorating this iconic feat every January. Yesterday, we celebrated 60 years as a Republic. On this momentous occasion, lets go through how our constitution has helped us develop as a country:

The Fundamental Right to Freedom
Everyone in this country is allowed to have his/her own opinion. Let me illustrate with an example. Suppose you are a notable bare-footed painter. You will realize that people who do not like your works can express their disapproval by ransacking exhibitions and burning your paintings in broad daylight. The right to freedom of expression stops the police from checking this menace.
We also have freedom to reside and settle in any part of the territory of India and practice any profession. I wonder whether Raj Thakeray knows about it.

Right to Equality
All men are equal, some men are more equal than others.
Have you ever stood in line in front of a government office and spied the occasional bureaucrat taking his acquaintance aside and pushing his file before any else? If the answer is no, this blog isn't meant for you.
Women of our country want to be treated as equals and yet scream for reservation when it comes to seats in the Parliament and the Metro. Plus, I believe I'm going to be labeled a sexist because the first line of this paragraph does not contain any representation for the fairer sex. Damn!

Right to Vote
A right/duty given to every Indian above 18 years of age. Mumbai registered 45% voter turnout in the last elections. I wonder why they complain when corrupt politicians get elected. Votes can bought everywhere in the country except on eBay (they should change their advertisements).

Right to Education
Only 44 deemed universities were de-recognized by the Education Ministry before the apex court ordered a status quo. How does anyone shoot one's self in the leg? Its quite similar to the way our country introduces self-defeating reforms.
Remember Slumdog Millionaire? 'The Three Musketeers' was never in our syllabus. But we have read saffron-ized history that changed with the change in regime. Here's an interesting story on the plight of education in India.

Right to Constitutional remedies
I wonder what our fundamental right to approach the courts for justice was called. In India, Justice is blind. Absolutely blind! Try going on a shooting spree in a busy city at midnight and leave behind CCTV footage of the carnage as well as a hundred corpses. Years would pass by while the Supreme Court would let the government spend crores on your protection while you call yourself an aspiring actor in Bollywood. Why don't you simply rape a minor and get staggering 6 months in jail?

Right to Freedom of Religion
According to our constitution, no person can be discriminated against on the basis of his/her religion. Ironic, isn't it?

Right against Exploitation
The Wikipedia article on our fundamental rights says that the Right against Exploitation covers:

• Child labour (below 14 years of age)
• Forced labour
• Trafficking
• Slavery

The middle/cattle class and lower classes have long been exploited by the upper classes. Nothing for us down-trodden folks. Even OBCs have it better than poor old 'General' category.

And this concludes our lesson in Social Sciences. Be proud of our heritage - the land of Narendra Modi, Bal & Raj Thakeray and L K Advani (Names represent only the creamy layer of villainous evil-eyed fly-bitten ruffians).


P.S. The right to vote is not a fundamental right.

2009 – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Here's a list of events that shaped the year that was (categorized according to the title of the post – the G, B and the U)

Annus Mirabilis

Jai Ho became a national pseudo-anthem with the advent of Slumdog Millionaire. Everyone in the film fraternity was raving about the fabulous work Danny Boyle had done, before they were reminded that the movie officially released on January 23rd and they should hold their tongues for a few weeks. Meanwhile, A R Rehman reached the same league as Yanni, Kenny G and Steven Vai.

James Cameron showed the world how mankind was responsible for destroying the planet and humans were completely at war with Mother Nature. However, we were totally bedazzled by the breathtaking visuals of Pandora created using cutting edge technology and too awestruck to take notice of the implied message.

Valentine's Day passed smoothly without any of our culture brigades putting up a show. What we had instead, were ladies from all walks of life contributing their rose colored undergarments to the collection of a certain leader of a Bangalore based Sena.

The Indian government suddenly turned brave in front of our red oppressors. First, it was UPA kicking the Left Front in the butt. Then it was the Chinese. The Chinese said they did not like Manmohan Singh roaming about in disputed territory. Instead of meekly apologizing like he was used to, the PM told the Chinese to get their eyes checked and the territory was Arunachal Pradesh – an integral part of the Republic of India (Take that, chinis). Basking in the glory of two red victories, the government turned its attention to the enemy within – The Maoists/Naxals – the toughest enemy among the red brigade.

Nano finally hit the Indian roads. Tata is making the people's car at a loss but as Ratan Tata said – Its not about the market forces. Its about the promise he had made to the average Indian.

Dan Brown released “The Lost Symbol”. Although the book created history of sorts with with record-breaking opening sales, it really was no match for certain angst-ridden teenage vampire romances that emerged in a new avatar on the silver screen.

Microsoft launched Windows 7. Hackers around the world rejoiced. All viruses they had written for Vista required hardly two lines of code to become Windows 7 compatible. All thanks to Microsoft!

Kaminey taught uf that lifping waf and ftill if Cool.

Even after fifty years, one small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against invaders. And life's not easy for the Roman legionaries that garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.

The new-age ministers in the UPA government turned the bureaucracy on its head. Shashi Tharoor was tweeting away to glory and connecting to the cattle class while Kapil Sibal tried to massacre our age-old rote based education system.

Chetan Bhagat finally learnt how to write. 'Two States' actually brought out the best in him. And depicted the truth when it said the only Tamil word that North Indians understand is ille.

Rahul Gandhi turned out to be great strategist and politician. He showed what he meant by connecting with the people – he was traveling in a Metro, eating dinner at a Dalit's home, journeying economy class by train and generally being nice to everyone around him. As a bonus, the antics of his sycophants took the news to the humor section as well. (One had dinner at a Dalit's home but not without a special order from a 5 Star hotel, napkins and mineral water)

The divide between politicians, celebrities, film stars and the common man blurred within 140 characters or less. Barack Obama, Shashi Tharoor, Priyanka Chopra, Mallika Sherawat, Gul Panag, MTV India and even Anurag Saxena – everyone who was anyone was sharing with everyone what they had for breakfast.


Annus Horribilis

In sync with the American military antics of 'shock and awe', 'preemptive attack' and the like, the Nobel Committee went for a 'preemptive strike' of its own – awarding Barack Obama a Peace prize.

Recession officially arrived in India with major IT companies like TCS going for corporate restructuring (for non-management types, read layoffs)

We always had corrupt politicians. But it was Madhu Koda who upped the ante. Rs 40,000,000,000 – estimated amount of money he siphoned off. Unfortunately, they say he is just a scapegoat.

BJP turned on itself. The whole country watched in amazement as the party entered “Self-destruct” mode. Jaswant Singh, a founding member, was expelled without so much as a show-cause notice. Advani's bid to become PM forced him to make unnecessary sacrifices and he ended up without friends. And now, we are faced with the threat of Narendra Modi, a genocidal CM, becoming BJP's nominee for the post of Prime Minister of this country.

Some of us really entertained the possibility of going to war with the Red people of the Yellow river. We had cultural exchanges along our borders – they showed us how to intimidate neighbors by painting graffiti on rocks and we showed them how to get intimidated by harmless graffiti.

The King of Pop finally became confined to the pages of HIStory. He may or may not have been a lover of children, but Billie Jean was not his girl. The smooth criminal beat it before his grand tour kicked off. His unbreakable memory would remain in our hearts and we all would definitely remember the time.

I no longer wonder why we still haven't attacked Pakistan yet. Its because we don't need to. Pakistan's already crumbling under the weight of the unholy nexus between Taliban, Mujahideens, ISI, its Army and the US troops. And now everyone's gunning for the head of this toxic alliance - Asif Ali Zardari.

It was with deep regret that we were informed of the demise of “Hamara Bajaj”. And with it, two of the greatest marvels of automobile industry – Maruti 800 and Bajaj Chetak, faded away into the history books.

Anyone with cable TV at home was bombarded with reality shows left, right and center. We had a music channel that stopped airing songs (Guess who!), a channel with dropping TRPs that resorted to showing shower scenes in a jungle during prime-time television, a channel that tried its hand at philanthropy by marrying off Rakhi Sawant to a Canadian (but tragically failed, kudos for trying) and is now trying its hand at public service again by tying Rahul Mahajan into wedlock.

Hollywood, looking at the global meltdown and Wall Street collapse, went into a state of depression. As a result, disaster/doomsday/zombie/conspiracy movies were churned out by the dozen. We had 2012, Zombieland, Knowing, Watchmen, Transformers 2, G-Force and around 50 other zombie movies among many more that had mankind's destruction as the main theme.


Annus Catastrophicus

Representatives of almost all countries gathered in Copenhagen to pen down a concord to stop global warming. Jairam Ramesh forgot whether our country is a developing or a developed nation. The Chinese did what they do best – whatever that may be, but it had something to do with escaping from the Summit without any strict regulations to follow. Finally, the Summit ended with only one resolution – where to meet for next year's summit.

A certain Rao showed us the power of human will. He showed us how to get our own state under the sovereign secular republic of India by suppressing the need to feed. We now have demands for Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Telangana and numerous others gaining momentum just because P Chidambram couldn't handle a person starving. Hopefully, maybe he'll listen to the demands of the BPL next.

Mayawati is still the CM of Uttar Pradesh.

Another Indian made it on the Forbes list for the first and probably the last time – Ramalinga Raju was in Forbes top list of world's worst CEOs. But he must be on the top of the “People who would never have been caught if they had not confessed” list.

The feline entrance test to the Meccas of Management went completely online. It would have been great, if only there weren't any virus attacks, if only all papers were of the same level, if only the papers had not contained questions from old papers, if only all examinees had been able to complete the test with their tests not ending prematurely, if only...

Finally, after spending four years in a madhouse called MMEC, I was finally declared fit to rejoin civilization as just another harmless software engineer. Infy, beware!

Driven by Values

Update: Anurag is currently working in an international call center in Gurgaon. It is an inbound process (that means customers call him and not vice versa)

Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values - The motto had sealed where I wanted to go after college. But then, there was a gap of six months between the day that I left college and the day that I would join my dream company. So here I am, biding my time at a call center.

The BPO is technical support for an anti-virus company based in USA. The job profile - Technical Sales. Unsuspecting customers call in for three main reasons:

• Their software isn't activated.
• They want to get rid of the software.
• They want to know more about our products after hearing our advertisements on radio and television.

Did I mention it was a 'sales' job? we have to convince our patrons that their system needs more than just some software to optimize performance. What they need are Microsoft certified technicians who would take care of their system while they have peace of mind. And they need not look elsewhere because we provide technical support for their system dirt cheap. It was an exciting profile. As a matter of fact, I was able to crack my first sale on my very first call.

Now comes the grey area - We are fraudsters. The software when installed for the first time brings in a few viruses with it. So, viruses are found on the system even if there weren't any before our software was installed. and our software makes sure the user's system slows down to a crawl. The customer is left with no option except to get a Microsoft Certified technician to work on it. If we are convincing enough, they subscribe to our service and a technician rids their system of all problems. To add insult to injury, there's hardly any technician in our process who is Microsoft Certified.

Our trainer Ashish (amazing guy, really) told us this was our way of getting back at the US. In US, even a person who can't afford to have three square meals a day will have atleast one computer at his home. And there's hardly anyone who uses it for anything other than surfing the net, playing games or checking mails. So, we are simply teaching them a lesson by taking their money and solving minor issues.

It's really a fun job, hearing customers scream 'Oh My God' the moment I open the System Configuration Utility (Run: msconfig) and show them weird looking startup items. My training lasted all of 12 days before I started the OJT (On the Job Training). In the words of our trainer, this was because the floor was BLEEDING. There weren't enough sales people to pick up all the calls we were getting. Life was fun until...

One fine day (or night, depending upon the time-zone you are in) I got a call from a customer who had just purchased our product. He was having trouble removing viruses from his system. Piece of cake! This was the very last call in my shift. I thought I might as well take a remote session of his computer and show him exactly show it is done. The customer said I would have to wait some time before he would be able to do the needful for me to take remote assistance.

It was only when I tried to show the customer how the software worked that I realized he was completely blind - with Windows Vista OS on his machine. He was using a text-to-speech converter on his system and our software wasn't compatible with it. My heart went out to him, frightened at what damage our software may cause on his computer. I let him know it was better if he would ask for a refund and remove our software from his system.

It is one thing to fool a lazy bum who knows nothing except drinking beer or visit pornographic sites and another to take money from a physically challenged person who had not given up despite his disability. For the first time, I realized what we'd been doing was wrong. A fool and his money are soon parted, but you should not be the one responsible for the partition.

There had been another customer who said that we had installed our software on his system without his permission. He was quite irate and wanted the software uninstalled immediately. I tried to convince him that we had over 15 million customers worldwide and we did not indulge in such back-handed tactics. He said that if I actually believed in what I said I must be the only man with scruples in the software industry. he told me I could mention any of the big names in computers and he would tell me atleast a dozen malpractices they had participated in. We all remember Microsoft and Anti-trust, don't we?

I'll be leaving the company after two months (maybe earlier, only time will tell). I just hope Infosys is really driven by values. I can't have it any other way.

The Great Indian Bureaucracy

It’s almost incredible how we blame everything on the government. Somehow, every evil that resides in the heart of our country is because of the dirty politicians. Or is it?

Since time immemorial, we have found ways to put everything on the shoulders of the few in power. But what we have failed to realize is that maybe the Devil has been painted blacker than He actually is. The biggest problem ailing our country is not politics but the bureaucracy. The Devil is not black. He is red and taped to a file near you.

How many of us shudder at the thought of going to a government office? In other words, how many of us have delved into our phone-books for a name that will help us avoid a trip to the nearest bureaucratic headquarters? Remember the time when you bribed an official so that your file would be taken care of earlier than others? Or the time when you got an agent to get a registered driver's license so that you would not have to wait for endless hours in a serpentine queue? Maybe you’ll remember the latest incident when you jumped a red light and had to part ways with a five hundred rupee note that now rests in the shirt pocket of an alert traffic official.

But are they really to blame? If you have ever visited the inside of a government office you would feel surprised that they actually manage to get some work done. Files, folders and scraps of paper stacked together provide habitat to thousands of endangered species of insects. Cupboards provide shelter to adult pigeons and their families. It’s amazing the employees are actually able to locate certain files while misplacing thousands of others. No wonder they require certain incentive for working on any file, unsympathetically called "Bribe". This incentive is the only reason government officials disregard any concerns for their own safety and work for the uplift of the community.

Politicians hardly have any say in the matter. Quite a few of them are only concerned with filling their own pockets and so they let sleeping dogs lie. Some others, filled with a misplaced sense of patriotism and altruism, try to bring about “monumental" changes. Another minuscule number of politicians, satisfied that they have taken enough from the community, decide to give something back to the country. They propose reforms and changes, blissfully unaware that by the time their ideas begin to take a definite shape five years would have passed and their legacy would be buried in an inconspicuous file in a desolate government office. Many long-term thinkers realize the irony in working five years without any hope of re-election and then being blamed for inefficiency. So they peacefully pass their term in office, promising everything but achieving nothing. This saves them the trouble of unappreciated effort.

Bureaucrats are the real power-brokers in India. People at the centre change every five years, sometimes within 13 days, but bureaucrats persist. They do not pledge allegiance to a particular party but to the nation. But they are too pre-occupied with the malfunctioning red light atop their SUVs or getting their wards out of jail for shooting people in broad daylight. As a consequence, try as they might, they just can't spare any thought for the common man.

Frankly, I have grown too tired (and poor) by bribing every peon/clerk/registrar/policeman/misc I encounter. I humbly request the powers that be to have some pity on my plight and exempt me from paying this VAT called bribe. I would be greatly obliged. Please find a note of 500 rupees attached for all the trouble caused to you.

Yours truly

A Common Man

From the archives

I wrote this post on 26 July 2007:
Reminisce and have a good time


http://engineeranurag.blogspot.com/2007/07/taj-mahala-load-off-my-back.html

Flying High

Employees in the private sector in India are a harassed lot. They are forced to work hard for their measly wages which is very bad. Or so they say.

Today, the pilots of a private airline (Jet Airways) went on strike. Some readers would like to point out that it was not a strike. The pilots just took leave, all at the same time. Poor Jet Airways had no option but to cancel all flights for the day.

The TV channels had a field day showing images of a sad lady who was unable to attend her father's funeral because her flight was canceled. She was unable to make alternate arrangements at such a short notice and sobbed on national TV. But did anyone really care? The TV channels tried their best to sensationalize the news, sucking out every bit of emotion the poor girl had. The viewers had a gala time switching channels whenever her story was re-telecast (every five minutes, approx.). The pilots had no representative on TV so they got burned as villains.

Meanwhile, other private airlines (not Jet) secretly hiked up their prices. Those booked on Jet enjoyed every moment of cursing the mothers and sisters of the Jet Airways pilots/ management of the greedy airlines.

So, whose fault was it? Unbelievably, nobody's. Frankly, you have to stand up for your rights. No one else will do it for you. You should always be prepared for emergencies. You should capitalize on your opponents' mistakes. And you should try to stay ahead of the game.

Unfortunately, the above wisdom holds true. No doubt, it was the same the wisdom in the minds of the pilots/media/airlines/public when they woke up this morning. But something everyone conveniently forgot was Humanity. Did the pilots even consider the inconvenience caused to others before they made their decision? So the pilots went on strike. Did the other airlines really need to pinch the pocket of the already suffering passengers? Did the media really have to sensationalize the story of a woman mourning for her dead father? The way they did it, any sympathy the poor lady might have got turned into apathy of the viewers.

All in all, it was another glorious day in the sovereign republic of India.

Sometimes I wonder, why do people need to be awarded (with humanitarian awards) for behaving like every human should? Something is seriously wrong somewhere.

Darkness Falls

Its been over two weeks since I last posted an entry on my blog. Not because I had few ideas, but I had a sudden rush of too many. Enjoying my glorious days of unemployment by visiting my relatives and roaming about the country, I got to learn more about people, places and particularly, myself. Everywhere I went, I found myself flooded with new ideas and posts for my blog. And yet, none were posted. Frankly, because I was scared.

One of my journeys was to Mathura, birthplace of the great Lord Krishna. For those of you who don't know about Lord Krishna, he is one of the reincarnations of God Vishnu. Lord Krishna occupies an important place in Hindu mythology (Check out this Pantheon.org article for more info). Tales of his various Leelas are as abundant as sea-shells on a beach.

Anyways, Mathura was supposed to be a spiritual destination. But what I saw was nothing but commercialization of religion. I was ashamed of the brazen manner in which the religious beliefs of followers were being exploited by the so-called spiritual gurus. On a theological level, I felt my belief in God stagger. From an agnostic, I turned into an atheist.

I feel I should not elaborate the incidents that happened. Criticizing Hinduism in India is injurious to health. So, due to safety concerns I might as well bury the matter. I felt like laughing at the fascade that is called religion and yet, I suppressed my laughter. Maybe the One in Heaven wants things this way.

Anyhow, all my sacriligious views won't be posted on the blog. More importantly, they will be collected in the form of a book (whether the book gets published is another matter altogether).

But I will not end this post without writing anything meaningful. I discovered this useful site - Pantheon.org
The site calls itself the Encyclopedia Mythica. Undoubtably, one of the largest warehouses of mythologies from around the world. Worth a glance!

Do all Christians go to Heaven?

(Original work by Stephen Knapp. Abridged by Anurag. The article is supposed to point out the fallacies in the Christian theology. What Jesus might have said has been lost in translation and what we follow today is nothing but our interpretation of His words. This is NOT an attack on Christianity. All religions deserve equal respect.)


Most Christians feel that they are bound to go to heaven simply because, as they say, Christ died for their sins. This is one of the basic principles of Christianity, which was idea originated from the apostle Paul. So, many Christians believe that even if they can't give up all of their sinful habits, all they have to do is believe in Jesus and that he died for their sins, and they will be saved. Its very simple!

Yet, mere belief in Jesus and his crucifixion as being all you need to be saved is a controversial point. Not all of the gospels that were in circulation when the New Testament was compiled agreed that the crucifixion was an act of atonement. This means that it may not be so easy just anyone to claim to be Christian and have an easy path to Heaven.

Firstly, Jesus was a Jew. His message was primarily for the Jewish people.

These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying "Do not go into the way of the Gentiles and do not enter a city of the Samaritans
But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. - Matthew 10:5

And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed."
But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, "Send her away, for she cries out after us."
But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
Then she came and worshiped Him saying, "Lord, help me!"
But He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the little dogs."
And she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table."
Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. - Matthew 15:22-28

So, do all Christians go to heaven? Not when you consider all the rules for exclusion. According to the books in the New Testament, Jesus left specific instructions that have to be followed or entrance into heaven may not be as sure as many Christians say.

He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. - Matthew 10:37

For God commanded, saying, 'Honor your father and mother'; and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' - Matthew 15:4

But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matthew 12:36

But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. - Matthew 16:23

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or mother or father or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. - Matthew 19:29

Now we can see that requirements of getting into heaven have become more demanding. Many Christians may feel that faith alone is all they need to be saved, but these biblical quotes of Jesus certainly indicate that he expected and required much more than that. The list of rules is not exhaustive by any means. Open your copy of the Gideon Bible for more details.

So what happens to all those who cannot measure up to the proper standard?

The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and all those who practice lawlessness.
And will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 13:41

If all the rules that Jesus explains must be followed perfectly in order for Christians to go to heaven, then this furnace must be a mighty big place. According to Christian theology, people are given only one lifetime to have one chance at either becoming perfect and righteous or go to eternal hell. What is the value of eternal punishment if it never ends and the soul does not get a chance to rectify himself?

Death Speaks

Rarely does a person come across a story that has the power to haunt him forever. I found the story Death Speaks in a collection of short stories by Jeffrey Archer. He does not claim the story to be his, the Preface to his book To Cut A Long Story Short clearly mentioning that it was translated from Arabic, Anon being the name of the original author. Archer himself is a renowned storyteller, a fact that can be gauged from the fact that all his novels and short stories have been worldwide bestsellers. As much as I would like to share some his gems, my respect for his brilliance prevents me from pirating my collection. If you like this story, you will love the rest of his works. Here is the complete story, as it appears in "To Cut A Long Story Short":


There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions. In a little while the servant came back, white and trembling. The servant said, "Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me."

The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop; he went. Then the merchant went down to the market-place and saw me standing in the crowd. He came to me and said, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?"

"That was not a threatening gesture", I said," it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."

Weathered

I gave my last exam on June the 12th. This piece of worthless information is exactly what it proclaims to be - worthless. It’s almost two months and I'm still here. Sitting in the comforts of my home, doing absolutely nothing constructive and idling away my time.

I'm partially employed. I was placed in Infosys (my dream company! BTW, I don't find many companies in my dreams) on February 12th, 2008. I have been given a prospective joining date of February 8th, 2010 (which happens to be the birthday of someone in my family). Anyhow, the time seems to move with a very slow pace. Even pace seems to be the wrong word. Pace is supposed to denote Motion...but time goes by so slowly that it seems to be standing still.

I tried finding part-time jobs to utilize the 6 months. Unfortunately, the recession bug has opened up a new chapter in unemployment. There are plenty of jobs in BPOs and Call-centers. And the employers want qualified graduate candidates. My case is different, though. Since I did graduation in CSE (i.e. Engineering) I'm ineligible for the posts. They are willing to hire people less qualified/skilled than me who the recruiters believe will stay for a longer period than me. In other words, I'm over-qualified for the BPO industry!

This is awesome! For the first time in my life, I'm too good for something. I should feel proud. Being over-qualified should mean that I've been able to achieve more than the average working class hero. It also means that a fresher who joined the industry right after giving his +2 exams is working. And I'm not!

It’s kind of a bittersweet phase I'm going through right now. I just wanted to do something before joining Infy. I guess I would have to look for other options.

Yashaswi, my pen-pal from Hyderabad gave me a list of careers I could pursue. Most notable among them were:

• Paranormal Investigator
  
• Vampire slayer
  
• Radio Jockey
  
• A Mercenary
  
• Hired Assassin
  

Nitin Khanna suggested doing some technical course like SCJP/MCSE

Personally, I wanted to roam around India like Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild on Discovery Channel) or even try Free-Running.

Well, it’s not yet August so I have plenty of time to find something that suits me.

If you have any other creative ideas, do let me know.


PS. Why did I put up this post on my blog anyway? I plead Temporary Insanity.

New Divide

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. - Albert Einstein

Remember the time when Slumdog Millionaire was criticized for showing India in a poor light? Or when some idiot asked Aravind Adiga to apologize for writing White Tiger? Chances are high that you do not.

I remember the exact date when I saw Slumdog. It was December 29th and we all were huddled in a friend's room in the hostel, watching the movie late into the night. For the uninitiated, Slumdog Millionaire was released in India on January 23rd (almost a month AFTER I had seen it). But this post is not about piracy. This post is about India.

White Tiger (Aravind Adiga's Booker Prize winning novel) talks of two India(s) - India of Light and India of Darkness. He talks mostly about the India of Darkness where corruption is rampant, poverty forces children out of schools, the rich get away with murder, politicians fill their pockets with the common man's hard-earned money and the government remains indifferent. Somehow this India seems familiar to me.

Frankly, I saw nothing wrong with the book. People who claimed that the book showed India in a poor light should...well... go out often. It is true that Art imitates Life. They said that the author focused on only the bad aspects of living in India. Well, he IS a writer of fiction. He drew everyone's attention to the deplorable condition of the masses. He brought forward issues like Casteism that are often brushed under the carpet, irrespective of the fact that they are more rampant than ever. Reservation on the basis of caste, whether for higher or lower classes, is casteism nonetheless. Such efforts need to be lauded, not discouraged.

Slumdog was the story of rags-to-riches. From Hindu-Muslim riots to the gangsters residing in Mumbai's underbelly, the movie tried to show some of the things that were wrong with the country. However, the scene involving Amitabh Bachchan was wrongly glorified. Instead of saying things like "That was disgusting!" Big B should have questioned whether the human excrete Jamaal dived into was fake or not. After all, human rights of the child were involved.

The reason why some people found Slumdog atrocious was due to the stereotypes generated by the silver screen and the idiot-box. The poor working class hero of any YashRaj or Karan Johar film wears Gucci/Armani to work...everyday. The never-ending Saas-Bahu sagas feature divorces in which the poor hero has to give Rs 250 Crore as alimony to his ex-wife. No wonder people have trouble digesting the fact that nearly one-third of the population is not able to arrange for one square meal a day.

There is an interesting fact about ostriches. Whenever an ostrich feels that it is under attack, it buries its head in the ground assuming that if it cannot see the enemy, the enemy cannot see it. Ostrich hunters have whale of a time shooting such sitting ducks (did you notice the alliteration?). The people who believe that movies like Slumdog Millionaire or books like White Tiger are bad because they depict the truth are just like ostriches. Such morons have the notion that if they do not talk about a problem, it will go away. This notion is true if applied to attention-mongers like Rakhi Sawant (if you do NOT watch Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, chances are that you won't have to watch Rakhi Ka Divorce, or even Rakhi Ka Swayamvar Season Two), but not in case of problems that have plagued our country for years (Reservation, corruption, religious discrimination etc)

To summarize, there are issues which are more important than Rakhi marrying that bald Canadian guy. Issues that have been put aside for too long. Issues that need to be resolved before they divide the country even further.

Spun

Ever since Kareena got that Size-Zero figure, losing weight has become the new fitness mantra. While looking for some exercises that I can do without shelling out a lot of dough for joining a gym, I came across the following article.


Calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume:

• Beating around the bush ... ... ... 75
• 
  
• Jumping to conclusions ... ... ... 100
• 
  
• Climbing the walls ... ... ... 150
  
• 
  
• Swallowing your pride ... ... ... 50
  
• 
  
• Passing the buck ... ... ... 25
  
• 
  
• Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) ... 50 - 300
  
• 
  
• Dragging your heels ... ... ... 100
  
• 
  
• Pushing your luck ... ... ... 250
  
• 
  
• Making mountains out of molehills ... ... ... 500
  
• 
  
• Hitting the nail on the head ... ... ... 50
  
• 
  
• Wading through paperwork ... ... ... 300
• 
  
• Bending over backwards ... ... ... 75
  

Cyberia

I have started looking for ways to promote the blog without pleading to all my friends to visit it.

I found quite a few blog directories that index various blogs far out in the unchartered waters of cyberspace.
Here is a list of a few that I visited:

• Technorati
• Blog Search Engine
• Globe of Blogs

It was quite late that I realized that I needed to be the owner of domain or the blog should be self-hosted for it to be submitted to these search engines.

Another glorious mistake!

To err is human, to forgive divine - Anonymous

Iron(y) Man

For some unfathomable reasons, Google rejected my application for an ad-sense account for this blog. I want my blog to display relevant advertisements and thus help me earn some extra allowance. However, the people at Google think otherwise. What is the problem if an average ordinary guy wants to earn money by penning down his thoughts? ...that too without using any profanities or talking about pre-marital affairs. I'm sure Chetan Bhagat never had any problems for finding sponsors for his website. There's irony hidden in it somewhere but you'd rather find it for yourself.

Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!

In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home...or whatever was left of it. Mayawati's supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the "inciting violence" infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But...they will do NOTHING.

Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I'm serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN'S STUPIDITY.

Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, "It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress." I'll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).

The most obvious question in your mind, "What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn't he get up and do something himself." Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing...the guy tried to bring about a change. And that's far better than complaining.

If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world...for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple...how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you'll always find me by your side. I hope you don't see irony here because none is intended.

Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi