Here's a list of events that shaped the year that was (categorized according to the title of the post – the G, B and the U)
Annus Mirabilis
Jai Ho became a national pseudo-anthem with the advent of Slumdog Millionaire. Everyone in the film fraternity was raving about the fabulous work Danny Boyle had done, before they were reminded that the movie officially released on January 23rd and they should hold their tongues for a few weeks. Meanwhile, A R Rehman reached the same league as Yanni, Kenny G and Steven Vai.
James Cameron showed the world how mankind was responsible for destroying the planet and humans were completely at war with Mother Nature. However, we were totally bedazzled by the breathtaking visuals of Pandora created using cutting edge technology and too awestruck to take notice of the implied message.
Valentine's Day passed smoothly without any of our culture brigades putting up a show. What we had instead, were ladies from all walks of life contributing their rose colored undergarments to the collection of a certain leader of a Bangalore based Sena.
The Indian government suddenly turned brave in front of our red oppressors. First, it was UPA kicking the Left Front in the butt. Then it was the Chinese. The Chinese said they did not like Manmohan Singh roaming about in disputed territory. Instead of meekly apologizing like he was used to, the PM told the Chinese to get their eyes checked and the territory was Arunachal Pradesh – an integral part of the Republic of India (Take that, chinis). Basking in the glory of two red victories, the government turned its attention to the enemy within – The Maoists/Naxals – the toughest enemy among the red brigade.
Nano finally hit the Indian roads. Tata is making the people's car at a loss but as Ratan Tata said – Its not about the market forces. Its about the promise he had made to the average Indian.
Dan Brown released “The Lost Symbol”. Although the book created history of sorts with with record-breaking opening sales, it really was no match for certain angst-ridden teenage vampire romances that emerged in a new avatar on the silver screen.
Microsoft launched Windows 7. Hackers around the world rejoiced. All viruses they had written for Vista required hardly two lines of code to become Windows 7 compatible. All thanks to Microsoft!
Kaminey taught uf that lifping waf and ftill if Cool.
Even after fifty years, one small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against invaders. And life's not easy for the Roman legionaries that garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
The new-age ministers in the UPA government turned the bureaucracy on its head. Shashi Tharoor was tweeting away to glory and connecting to the cattle class while Kapil Sibal tried to massacre our age-old rote based education system.
Chetan Bhagat finally learnt how to write. 'Two States' actually brought out the best in him. And depicted the truth when it said the only Tamil word that North Indians understand is ille.
Rahul Gandhi turned out to be great strategist and politician. He showed what he meant by connecting with the people – he was traveling in a Metro, eating dinner at a Dalit's home, journeying economy class by train and generally being nice to everyone around him. As a bonus, the antics of his sycophants took the news to the humor section as well. (One had dinner at a Dalit's home but not without a special order from a 5 Star hotel, napkins and mineral water)
The divide between politicians, celebrities, film stars and the common man blurred within 140 characters or less. Barack Obama, Shashi Tharoor, Priyanka Chopra, Mallika Sherawat, Gul Panag, MTV India and even Anurag Saxena – everyone who was anyone was sharing with everyone what they had for breakfast.
Annus Horribilis
In sync with the American military antics of 'shock and awe', 'preemptive attack' and the like, the Nobel Committee went for a 'preemptive strike' of its own – awarding Barack Obama a Peace prize.
Recession officially arrived in India with major IT companies like TCS going for corporate restructuring (for non-management types, read layoffs)
We always had corrupt politicians. But it was Madhu Koda who upped the ante. Rs 40,000,000,000 – estimated amount of money he siphoned off. Unfortunately, they say he is just a scapegoat.
BJP turned on itself. The whole country watched in amazement as the party entered “Self-destruct” mode. Jaswant Singh, a founding member, was expelled without so much as a show-cause notice. Advani's bid to become PM forced him to make unnecessary sacrifices and he ended up without friends. And now, we are faced with the threat of Narendra Modi, a genocidal CM, becoming BJP's nominee for the post of Prime Minister of this country.
Some of us really entertained the possibility of going to war with the Red people of the Yellow river. We had cultural exchanges along our borders – they showed us how to intimidate neighbors by painting graffiti on rocks and we showed them how to get intimidated by harmless graffiti.
The King of Pop finally became confined to the pages of HIStory. He may or may not have been a lover of children, but Billie Jean was not his girl. The smooth criminal beat it before his grand tour kicked off. His unbreakable memory would remain in our hearts and we all would definitely remember the time.
I no longer wonder why we still haven't attacked Pakistan yet. Its because we don't need to. Pakistan's already crumbling under the weight of the unholy nexus between Taliban, Mujahideens, ISI, its Army and the US troops. And now everyone's gunning for the head of this toxic alliance - Asif Ali Zardari.
It was with deep regret that we were informed of the demise of “Hamara Bajaj”. And with it, two of the greatest marvels of automobile industry – Maruti 800 and Bajaj Chetak, faded away into the history books.
Anyone with cable TV at home was bombarded with reality shows left, right and center. We had a music channel that stopped airing songs (Guess who!), a channel with dropping TRPs that resorted to showing shower scenes in a jungle during prime-time television, a channel that tried its hand at philanthropy by marrying off Rakhi Sawant to a Canadian (but tragically failed, kudos for trying) and is now trying its hand at public service again by tying Rahul Mahajan into wedlock.
Hollywood, looking at the global meltdown and Wall Street collapse, went into a state of depression. As a result, disaster/doomsday/zombie/conspiracy movies were churned out by the dozen. We had 2012, Zombieland, Knowing, Watchmen, Transformers 2, G-Force and around 50 other zombie movies among many more that had mankind's destruction as the main theme.
Annus Catastrophicus
Representatives of almost all countries gathered in Copenhagen to pen down a concord to stop global warming. Jairam Ramesh forgot whether our country is a developing or a developed nation. The Chinese did what they do best – whatever that may be, but it had something to do with escaping from the Summit without any strict regulations to follow. Finally, the Summit ended with only one resolution – where to meet for next year's summit.
A certain Rao showed us the power of human will. He showed us how to get our own state under the sovereign secular republic of India by suppressing the need to feed. We now have demands for Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Telangana and numerous others gaining momentum just because P Chidambram couldn't handle a person starving. Hopefully, maybe he'll listen to the demands of the BPL next.
Mayawati is still the CM of Uttar Pradesh.
Another Indian made it on the Forbes list for the first and probably the last time – Ramalinga Raju was in Forbes top list of world's worst CEOs. But he must be on the top of the “People who would never have been caught if they had not confessed” list.
The feline entrance test to the Meccas of Management went completely online. It would have been great, if only there weren't any virus attacks, if only all papers were of the same level, if only the papers had not contained questions from old papers, if only all examinees had been able to complete the test with their tests not ending prematurely, if only...
Finally, after spending four years in a madhouse called MMEC, I was finally declared fit to rejoin civilization as just another harmless software engineer. Infy, beware!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Driven by Values
Update: Anurag is currently working in an international call center in Gurgaon. It is an inbound process (that means customers call him and not vice versa)
Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values - The motto had sealed where I wanted to go after college. But then, there was a gap of six months between the day that I left college and the day that I would join my dream company. So here I am, biding my time at a call center.
The BPO is technical support for an anti-virus company based in USA. The job profile - Technical Sales. Unsuspecting customers call in for three main reasons:
- Their software isn't activated.
- They want to get rid of the software.
- They want to know more about our products after hearing our advertisements on radio and television.
Did I mention it was a 'sales' job? we have to convince our patrons that their system needs more than just some software to optimize performance. What they need are Microsoft certified technicians who would take care of their system while they have peace of mind. And they need not look elsewhere because we provide technical support for their system dirt cheap. It was an exciting profile. As a matter of fact, I was able to crack my first sale on my very first call.
Now comes the grey area - We are fraudsters. The software when installed for the first time brings in a few viruses with it. So, viruses are found on the system even if there weren't any before our software was installed. and our software makes sure the user's system slows down to a crawl. The customer is left with no option except to get a Microsoft Certified technician to work on it. If we are convincing enough, they subscribe to our service and a technician rids their system of all problems. To add insult to injury, there's hardly any technician in our process who is Microsoft Certified.
Our trainer Ashish (amazing guy, really) told us this was our way of getting back at the US. In US, even a person who can't afford to have three square meals a day will have atleast one computer at his home. And there's hardly anyone who uses it for anything other than surfing the net, playing games or checking mails. So, we are simply teaching them a lesson by taking their money and solving minor issues.
It's really a fun job, hearing customers scream 'Oh My God' the moment I open the System Configuration Utility (Run: msconfig) and show them weird looking startup items. My training lasted all of 12 days before I started the OJT (On the Job Training). In the words of our trainer, this was because the floor was BLEEDING. There weren't enough sales people to pick up all the calls we were getting. Life was fun until...
One fine day (or night, depending upon the time-zone you are in) I got a call from a customer who had just purchased our product. He was having trouble removing viruses from his system. Piece of cake! This was the very last call in my shift. I thought I might as well take a remote session of his computer and show him exactly show it is done. The customer said I would have to wait some time before he would be able to do the needful for me to take remote assistance.
It was only when I tried to show the customer how the software worked that I realized he was completely blind - with Windows Vista OS on his machine. He was using a text-to-speech converter on his system and our software wasn't compatible with it. My heart went out to him, frightened at what damage our software may cause on his computer. I let him know it was better if he would ask for a refund and remove our software from his system.
It is one thing to fool a lazy bum who knows nothing except drinking beer or visit pornographic sites and another to take money from a physically challenged person who had not given up despite his disability. For the first time, I realized what we'd been doing was wrong. A fool and his money are soon parted, but you should not be the one responsible for the partition.
There had been another customer who said that we had installed our software on his system without his permission. He was quite irate and wanted the software uninstalled immediately. I tried to convince him that we had over 15 million customers worldwide and we did not indulge in such back-handed tactics. He said that if I actually believed in what I said I must be the only man with scruples in the software industry. he told me I could mention any of the big names in computers and he would tell me atleast a dozen malpractices they had participated in. We all remember Microsoft and Anti-trust, don't we?
I'll be leaving the company after two months (maybe earlier, only time will tell). I just hope Infosys is really driven by values. I can't have it any other way.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Great Indian Bureaucracy
It’s almost incredible how we blame everything on the government. Somehow, every evil that resides in the heart of our country is because of the dirty politicians. Or is it?
Since time immemorial, we have found ways to put everything on the shoulders of the few in power. But what we have failed to realize is that maybe the Devil has been painted blacker than He actually is. The biggest problem ailing our country is not politics but the bureaucracy. The Devil is not black. He is red and taped to a file near you.
How many of us shudder at the thought of going to a government office? In other words, how many of us have delved into our phone-books for a name that will help us avoid a trip to the nearest bureaucratic headquarters? Remember the time when you bribed an official so that your file would be taken care of earlier than others? Or the time when you got an agent to get a registered driver's license so that you would not have to wait for endless hours in a serpentine queue? Maybe you’ll remember the latest incident when you jumped a red light and had to part ways with a five hundred rupee note that now rests in the shirt pocket of an alert traffic official.
But are they really to blame? If you have ever visited the inside of a government office you would feel surprised that they actually manage to get some work done. Files, folders and scraps of paper stacked together provide habitat to thousands of endangered species of insects. Cupboards provide shelter to adult pigeons and their families. It’s amazing the employees are actually able to locate certain files while misplacing thousands of others. No wonder they require certain incentive for working on any file, unsympathetically called "Bribe". This incentive is the only reason government officials disregard any concerns for their own safety and work for the uplift of the community.
Politicians hardly have any say in the matter. Quite a few of them are only concerned with filling their own pockets and so they let sleeping dogs lie. Some others, filled with a misplaced sense of patriotism and altruism, try to bring about “monumental" changes. Another minuscule number of politicians, satisfied that they have taken enough from the community, decide to give something back to the country. They propose reforms and changes, blissfully unaware that by the time their ideas begin to take a definite shape five years would have passed and their legacy would be buried in an inconspicuous file in a desolate government office. Many long-term thinkers realize the irony in working five years without any hope of re-election and then being blamed for inefficiency. So they peacefully pass their term in office, promising everything but achieving nothing. This saves them the trouble of unappreciated effort.
Bureaucrats are the real power-brokers in India. People at the centre change every five years, sometimes within 13 days, but bureaucrats persist. They do not pledge allegiance to a particular party but to the nation. But they are too pre-occupied with the malfunctioning red light atop their SUVs or getting their wards out of jail for shooting people in broad daylight. As a consequence, try as they might, they just can't spare any thought for the common man.
Frankly, I have grown too tired (and poor) by bribing every peon/clerk/registrar/policeman/misc I encounter. I humbly request the powers that be to have some pity on my plight and exempt me from paying this VAT called bribe. I would be greatly obliged. Please find a note of 500 rupees attached for all the trouble caused to you.
Yours truly
A Common Man
Since time immemorial, we have found ways to put everything on the shoulders of the few in power. But what we have failed to realize is that maybe the Devil has been painted blacker than He actually is. The biggest problem ailing our country is not politics but the bureaucracy. The Devil is not black. He is red and taped to a file near you.
How many of us shudder at the thought of going to a government office? In other words, how many of us have delved into our phone-books for a name that will help us avoid a trip to the nearest bureaucratic headquarters? Remember the time when you bribed an official so that your file would be taken care of earlier than others? Or the time when you got an agent to get a registered driver's license so that you would not have to wait for endless hours in a serpentine queue? Maybe you’ll remember the latest incident when you jumped a red light and had to part ways with a five hundred rupee note that now rests in the shirt pocket of an alert traffic official.
But are they really to blame? If you have ever visited the inside of a government office you would feel surprised that they actually manage to get some work done. Files, folders and scraps of paper stacked together provide habitat to thousands of endangered species of insects. Cupboards provide shelter to adult pigeons and their families. It’s amazing the employees are actually able to locate certain files while misplacing thousands of others. No wonder they require certain incentive for working on any file, unsympathetically called "Bribe". This incentive is the only reason government officials disregard any concerns for their own safety and work for the uplift of the community.
Politicians hardly have any say in the matter. Quite a few of them are only concerned with filling their own pockets and so they let sleeping dogs lie. Some others, filled with a misplaced sense of patriotism and altruism, try to bring about “monumental" changes. Another minuscule number of politicians, satisfied that they have taken enough from the community, decide to give something back to the country. They propose reforms and changes, blissfully unaware that by the time their ideas begin to take a definite shape five years would have passed and their legacy would be buried in an inconspicuous file in a desolate government office. Many long-term thinkers realize the irony in working five years without any hope of re-election and then being blamed for inefficiency. So they peacefully pass their term in office, promising everything but achieving nothing. This saves them the trouble of unappreciated effort.
Bureaucrats are the real power-brokers in India. People at the centre change every five years, sometimes within 13 days, but bureaucrats persist. They do not pledge allegiance to a particular party but to the nation. But they are too pre-occupied with the malfunctioning red light atop their SUVs or getting their wards out of jail for shooting people in broad daylight. As a consequence, try as they might, they just can't spare any thought for the common man.
Frankly, I have grown too tired (and poor) by bribing every peon/clerk/registrar/policeman/misc I encounter. I humbly request the powers that be to have some pity on my plight and exempt me from paying this VAT called bribe. I would be greatly obliged. Please find a note of 500 rupees attached for all the trouble caused to you.
Yours truly
A Common Man
Saturday, September 26, 2009
From the archives
I wrote this post on 26 July 2007:
Reminisce and have a good time
http://engineeranurag.blogspot.com/2007/07/taj-mahala-load-off-my-back.html
Reminisce and have a good time
http://engineeranurag.blogspot.com/2007/07/taj-mahala-load-off-my-back.html
Friday, September 11, 2009
Flying High
Employees in the private sector in India are a harassed lot. They are forced to work hard for their measly wages which is very bad. Or so they say.
Today, the pilots of a private airline (Jet Airways) went on strike. Some readers would like to point out that it was not a strike. The pilots just took leave, all at the same time. Poor Jet Airways had no option but to cancel all flights for the day.
The TV channels had a field day showing images of a sad lady who was unable to attend her father's funeral because her flight was canceled. She was unable to make alternate arrangements at such a short notice and sobbed on national TV. But did anyone really care? The TV channels tried their best to sensationalize the news, sucking out every bit of emotion the poor girl had. The viewers had a gala time switching channels whenever her story was re-telecast (every five minutes, approx.). The pilots had no representative on TV so they got burned as villains.
Meanwhile, other private airlines (not Jet) secretly hiked up their prices. Those booked on Jet enjoyed every moment of cursing the mothers and sisters of the Jet Airways pilots/ management of the greedy airlines.
So, whose fault was it? Unbelievably, nobody's. Frankly, you have to stand up for your rights. No one else will do it for you. You should always be prepared for emergencies. You should capitalize on your opponents' mistakes. And you should try to stay ahead of the game.
Unfortunately, the above wisdom holds true. No doubt, it was the same the wisdom in the minds of the pilots/media/airlines/public when they woke up this morning. But something everyone conveniently forgot was Humanity. Did the pilots even consider the inconvenience caused to others before they made their decision? So the pilots went on strike. Did the other airlines really need to pinch the pocket of the already suffering passengers? Did the media really have to sensationalize the story of a woman mourning for her dead father? The way they did it, any sympathy the poor lady might have got turned into apathy of the viewers.
All in all, it was another glorious day in the sovereign republic of India.
Sometimes I wonder, why do people need to be awarded (with humanitarian awards) for behaving like every human should? Something is seriously wrong somewhere.
Today, the pilots of a private airline (Jet Airways) went on strike. Some readers would like to point out that it was not a strike. The pilots just took leave, all at the same time. Poor Jet Airways had no option but to cancel all flights for the day.
The TV channels had a field day showing images of a sad lady who was unable to attend her father's funeral because her flight was canceled. She was unable to make alternate arrangements at such a short notice and sobbed on national TV. But did anyone really care? The TV channels tried their best to sensationalize the news, sucking out every bit of emotion the poor girl had. The viewers had a gala time switching channels whenever her story was re-telecast (every five minutes, approx.). The pilots had no representative on TV so they got burned as villains.
Meanwhile, other private airlines (not Jet) secretly hiked up their prices. Those booked on Jet enjoyed every moment of cursing the mothers and sisters of the Jet Airways pilots/ management of the greedy airlines.
So, whose fault was it? Unbelievably, nobody's. Frankly, you have to stand up for your rights. No one else will do it for you. You should always be prepared for emergencies. You should capitalize on your opponents' mistakes. And you should try to stay ahead of the game.
Unfortunately, the above wisdom holds true. No doubt, it was the same the wisdom in the minds of the pilots/media/airlines/public when they woke up this morning. But something everyone conveniently forgot was Humanity. Did the pilots even consider the inconvenience caused to others before they made their decision? So the pilots went on strike. Did the other airlines really need to pinch the pocket of the already suffering passengers? Did the media really have to sensationalize the story of a woman mourning for her dead father? The way they did it, any sympathy the poor lady might have got turned into apathy of the viewers.
All in all, it was another glorious day in the sovereign republic of India.
Sometimes I wonder, why do people need to be awarded (with humanitarian awards) for behaving like every human should? Something is seriously wrong somewhere.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Darkness Falls
Its been over two weeks since I last posted an entry on my blog. Not because I had few ideas, but I had a sudden rush of too many. Enjoying my glorious days of unemployment by visiting my relatives and roaming about the country, I got to learn more about people, places and particularly, myself. Everywhere I went, I found myself flooded with new ideas and posts for my blog. And yet, none were posted. Frankly, because I was scared.
One of my journeys was to Mathura, birthplace of the great Lord Krishna. For those of you who don't know about Lord Krishna, he is one of the reincarnations of God Vishnu. Lord Krishna occupies an important place in Hindu mythology (Check out this Pantheon.org article for more info). Tales of his various Leelas are as abundant as sea-shells on a beach.
Anyways, Mathura was supposed to be a spiritual destination. But what I saw was nothing but commercialization of religion. I was ashamed of the brazen manner in which the religious beliefs of followers were being exploited by the so-called spiritual gurus. On a theological level, I felt my belief in God stagger. From an agnostic, I turned into an atheist.
I feel I should not elaborate the incidents that happened. Criticizing Hinduism in India is injurious to health. So, due to safety concerns I might as well bury the matter. I felt like laughing at the fascade that is called religion and yet, I suppressed my laughter. Maybe the One in Heaven wants things this way.
Anyhow, all my sacriligious views won't be posted on the blog. More importantly, they will be collected in the form of a book (whether the book gets published is another matter altogether).
But I will not end this post without writing anything meaningful. I discovered this useful site - Pantheon.org
The site calls itself the Encyclopedia Mythica. Undoubtably, one of the largest warehouses of mythologies from around the world. Worth a glance!
One of my journeys was to Mathura, birthplace of the great Lord Krishna. For those of you who don't know about Lord Krishna, he is one of the reincarnations of God Vishnu. Lord Krishna occupies an important place in Hindu mythology (Check out this Pantheon.org article for more info). Tales of his various Leelas are as abundant as sea-shells on a beach.
Anyways, Mathura was supposed to be a spiritual destination. But what I saw was nothing but commercialization of religion. I was ashamed of the brazen manner in which the religious beliefs of followers were being exploited by the so-called spiritual gurus. On a theological level, I felt my belief in God stagger. From an agnostic, I turned into an atheist.
I feel I should not elaborate the incidents that happened. Criticizing Hinduism in India is injurious to health. So, due to safety concerns I might as well bury the matter. I felt like laughing at the fascade that is called religion and yet, I suppressed my laughter. Maybe the One in Heaven wants things this way.
Anyhow, all my sacriligious views won't be posted on the blog. More importantly, they will be collected in the form of a book (whether the book gets published is another matter altogether).
But I will not end this post without writing anything meaningful. I discovered this useful site - Pantheon.org
The site calls itself the Encyclopedia Mythica. Undoubtably, one of the largest warehouses of mythologies from around the world. Worth a glance!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Do all Christians go to Heaven?
(Original work by Stephen Knapp. Abridged by Anurag. The article is supposed to point out the fallacies in the Christian theology. What Jesus might have said has been lost in translation and what we follow today is nothing but our interpretation of His words. This is NOT an attack on Christianity. All religions deserve equal respect.)
Most Christians feel that they are bound to go to heaven simply because, as they say, Christ died for their sins. This is one of the basic principles of Christianity, which was idea originated from the apostle Paul. So, many Christians believe that even if they can't give up all of their sinful habits, all they have to do is believe in Jesus and that he died for their sins, and they will be saved. Its very simple!
Yet, mere belief in Jesus and his crucifixion as being all you need to be saved is a controversial point. Not all of the gospels that were in circulation when the New Testament was compiled agreed that the crucifixion was an act of atonement. This means that it may not be so easy just anyone to claim to be Christian and have an easy path to Heaven.
Firstly, Jesus was a Jew. His message was primarily for the Jewish people.
These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying "Do not go into the way of the Gentiles and do not enter a city of the Samaritans
But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. - Matthew 10:5
And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed."
But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, "Send her away, for she cries out after us."
But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
Then she came and worshiped Him saying, "Lord, help me!"
But He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the little dogs."
And she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table."
Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. - Matthew 15:22-28
So, do all Christians go to heaven? Not when you consider all the rules for exclusion. According to the books in the New Testament, Jesus left specific instructions that have to be followed or entrance into heaven may not be as sure as many Christians say.
He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. - Matthew 10:37
For God commanded, saying, 'Honor your father and mother'; and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' - Matthew 15:4
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matthew 12:36
But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. - Matthew 16:23
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or mother or father or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. - Matthew 19:29
Now we can see that requirements of getting into heaven have become more demanding. Many Christians may feel that faith alone is all they need to be saved, but these biblical quotes of Jesus certainly indicate that he expected and required much more than that. The list of rules is not exhaustive by any means. Open your copy of the Gideon Bible for more details.
So what happens to all those who cannot measure up to the proper standard?
The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and all those who practice lawlessness.
And will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 13:41
If all the rules that Jesus explains must be followed perfectly in order for Christians to go to heaven, then this furnace must be a mighty big place. According to Christian theology, people are given only one lifetime to have one chance at either becoming perfect and righteous or go to eternal hell. What is the value of eternal punishment if it never ends and the soul does not get a chance to rectify himself?
Most Christians feel that they are bound to go to heaven simply because, as they say, Christ died for their sins. This is one of the basic principles of Christianity, which was idea originated from the apostle Paul. So, many Christians believe that even if they can't give up all of their sinful habits, all they have to do is believe in Jesus and that he died for their sins, and they will be saved. Its very simple!
Yet, mere belief in Jesus and his crucifixion as being all you need to be saved is a controversial point. Not all of the gospels that were in circulation when the New Testament was compiled agreed that the crucifixion was an act of atonement. This means that it may not be so easy just anyone to claim to be Christian and have an easy path to Heaven.
Firstly, Jesus was a Jew. His message was primarily for the Jewish people.
These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying "Do not go into the way of the Gentiles and do not enter a city of the Samaritans
But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. - Matthew 10:5
And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed."
But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, "Send her away, for she cries out after us."
But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."
Then she came and worshiped Him saying, "Lord, help me!"
But He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the little dogs."
And she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table."
Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. - Matthew 15:22-28
So, do all Christians go to heaven? Not when you consider all the rules for exclusion. According to the books in the New Testament, Jesus left specific instructions that have to be followed or entrance into heaven may not be as sure as many Christians say.
He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. - Matthew 10:37
For God commanded, saying, 'Honor your father and mother'; and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' - Matthew 15:4
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matthew 12:36
But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."
Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. - Matthew 16:23
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or mother or father or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. - Matthew 19:29
Now we can see that requirements of getting into heaven have become more demanding. Many Christians may feel that faith alone is all they need to be saved, but these biblical quotes of Jesus certainly indicate that he expected and required much more than that. The list of rules is not exhaustive by any means. Open your copy of the Gideon Bible for more details.
So what happens to all those who cannot measure up to the proper standard?
The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and all those who practice lawlessness.
And will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 13:41
If all the rules that Jesus explains must be followed perfectly in order for Christians to go to heaven, then this furnace must be a mighty big place. According to Christian theology, people are given only one lifetime to have one chance at either becoming perfect and righteous or go to eternal hell. What is the value of eternal punishment if it never ends and the soul does not get a chance to rectify himself?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Death Speaks
Rarely does a person come across a story that has the power to haunt him forever. I found the story Death Speaks in a collection of short stories by Jeffrey Archer. He does not claim the story to be his, the Preface to his book To Cut A Long Story Short clearly mentioning that it was translated from Arabic, Anon being the name of the original author. Archer himself is a renowned storyteller, a fact that can be gauged from the fact that all his novels and short stories have been worldwide bestsellers. As much as I would like to share some his gems, my respect for his brilliance prevents me from pirating my collection. If you like this story, you will love the rest of his works. Here is the complete story, as it appears in "To Cut A Long Story Short":
There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions. In a little while the servant came back, white and trembling. The servant said, "Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me."
The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop; he went. Then the merchant went down to the market-place and saw me standing in the crowd. He came to me and said, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?"
"That was not a threatening gesture", I said," it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions. In a little while the servant came back, white and trembling. The servant said, "Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me."
The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop; he went. Then the merchant went down to the market-place and saw me standing in the crowd. He came to me and said, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?"
"That was not a threatening gesture", I said," it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
Friday, August 07, 2009
Weathered
I gave my last exam on June the 12th. This piece of worthless information is exactly what it proclaims to be - worthless. It’s almost two months and I'm still here. Sitting in the comforts of my home, doing absolutely nothing constructive and idling away my time.
I'm partially employed. I was placed in Infosys (my dream company! BTW, I don't find many companies in my dreams) on February 12th, 2008. I have been given a prospective joining date of February 8th, 2010 (which happens to be the birthday of someone in my family). Anyhow, the time seems to move with a very slow pace. Even pace seems to be the wrong word. Pace is supposed to denote Motion...but time goes by so slowly that it seems to be standing still.
I tried finding part-time jobs to utilize the 6 months. Unfortunately, the recession bug has opened up a new chapter in unemployment. There are plenty of jobs in BPOs and Call-centers. And the employers want qualified graduate candidates. My case is different, though. Since I did graduation in CSE (i.e. Engineering) I'm ineligible for the posts. They are willing to hire people less qualified/skilled than me who the recruiters believe will stay for a longer period than me. In other words, I'm over-qualified for the BPO industry!
This is awesome! For the first time in my life, I'm too good for something. I should feel proud. Being over-qualified should mean that I've been able to achieve more than the average working class hero. It also means that a fresher who joined the industry right after giving his +2 exams is working. And I'm not!
It’s kind of a bittersweet phase I'm going through right now. I just wanted to do something before joining Infy. I guess I would have to look for other options.
Yashaswi, my pen-pal from Hyderabad gave me a list of careers I could pursue. Most notable among them were:
Nitin Khanna suggested doing some technical course like SCJP/MCSE
Personally, I wanted to roam around India like Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild on Discovery Channel) or even try Free-Running.
Well, it’s not yet August so I have plenty of time to find something that suits me.
If you have any other creative ideas, do let me know.
PS. Why did I put up this post on my blog anyway? I plead Temporary Insanity.
I'm partially employed. I was placed in Infosys (my dream company! BTW, I don't find many companies in my dreams) on February 12th, 2008. I have been given a prospective joining date of February 8th, 2010 (which happens to be the birthday of someone in my family). Anyhow, the time seems to move with a very slow pace. Even pace seems to be the wrong word. Pace is supposed to denote Motion...but time goes by so slowly that it seems to be standing still.
I tried finding part-time jobs to utilize the 6 months. Unfortunately, the recession bug has opened up a new chapter in unemployment. There are plenty of jobs in BPOs and Call-centers. And the employers want qualified graduate candidates. My case is different, though. Since I did graduation in CSE (i.e. Engineering) I'm ineligible for the posts. They are willing to hire people less qualified/skilled than me who the recruiters believe will stay for a longer period than me. In other words, I'm over-qualified for the BPO industry!
This is awesome! For the first time in my life, I'm too good for something. I should feel proud. Being over-qualified should mean that I've been able to achieve more than the average working class hero. It also means that a fresher who joined the industry right after giving his +2 exams is working. And I'm not!
It’s kind of a bittersweet phase I'm going through right now. I just wanted to do something before joining Infy. I guess I would have to look for other options.
Yashaswi, my pen-pal from Hyderabad gave me a list of careers I could pursue. Most notable among them were:
- Paranormal Investigator
- Vampire slayer
- Radio Jockey
- A Mercenary
- Hired Assassin
Nitin Khanna suggested doing some technical course like SCJP/MCSE
Personally, I wanted to roam around India like Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild on Discovery Channel) or even try Free-Running.
Well, it’s not yet August so I have plenty of time to find something that suits me.
If you have any other creative ideas, do let me know.
PS. Why did I put up this post on my blog anyway? I plead Temporary Insanity.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
New Divide
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. - Albert Einstein
Remember the time when Slumdog Millionaire was criticized for showing India in a poor light? Or when some idiot asked Aravind Adiga to apologize for writing White Tiger? Chances are high that you do not.
I remember the exact date when I saw Slumdog. It was December 29th and we all were huddled in a friend's room in the hostel, watching the movie late into the night. For the uninitiated, Slumdog Millionaire was released in India on January 23rd (almost a month AFTER I had seen it). But this post is not about piracy. This post is about India.
White Tiger (Aravind Adiga's Booker Prize winning novel) talks of two India(s) - India of Light and India of Darkness. He talks mostly about the India of Darkness where corruption is rampant, poverty forces children out of schools, the rich get away with murder, politicians fill their pockets with the common man's hard-earned money and the government remains indifferent. Somehow this India seems familiar to me.
Frankly, I saw nothing wrong with the book. People who claimed that the book showed India in a poor light should...well... go out often. It is true that Art imitates Life. They said that the author focused on only the bad aspects of living in India. Well, he IS a writer of fiction. He drew everyone's attention to the deplorable condition of the masses. He brought forward issues like Casteism that are often brushed under the carpet, irrespective of the fact that they are more rampant than ever. Reservation on the basis of caste, whether for higher or lower classes, is casteism nonetheless. Such efforts need to be lauded, not discouraged.
Slumdog was the story of rags-to-riches. From Hindu-Muslim riots to the gangsters residing in Mumbai's underbelly, the movie tried to show some of the things that were wrong with the country. However, the scene involving Amitabh Bachchan was wrongly glorified. Instead of saying things like "That was disgusting!" Big B should have questioned whether the human excrete Jamaal dived into was fake or not. After all, human rights of the child were involved.
The reason why some people found Slumdog atrocious was due to the stereotypes generated by the silver screen and the idiot-box. The poor working class hero of any YashRaj or Karan Johar film wears Gucci/Armani to work...everyday. The never-ending Saas-Bahu sagas feature divorces in which the poor hero has to give Rs 250 Crore as alimony to his ex-wife. No wonder people have trouble digesting the fact that nearly one-third of the population is not able to arrange for one square meal a day.
There is an interesting fact about ostriches. Whenever an ostrich feels that it is under attack, it buries its head in the ground assuming that if it cannot see the enemy, the enemy cannot see it. Ostrich hunters have whale of a time shooting such sitting ducks (did you notice the alliteration?). The people who believe that movies like Slumdog Millionaire or books like White Tiger are bad because they depict the truth are just like ostriches. Such morons have the notion that if they do not talk about a problem, it will go away. This notion is true if applied to attention-mongers like Rakhi Sawant (if you do NOT watch Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, chances are that you won't have to watch Rakhi Ka Divorce, or even Rakhi Ka Swayamvar Season Two), but not in case of problems that have plagued our country for years (Reservation, corruption, religious discrimination etc)
To summarize, there are issues which are more important than Rakhi marrying that bald Canadian guy. Issues that have been put aside for too long. Issues that need to be resolved before they divide the country even further.
Remember the time when Slumdog Millionaire was criticized for showing India in a poor light? Or when some idiot asked Aravind Adiga to apologize for writing White Tiger? Chances are high that you do not.
I remember the exact date when I saw Slumdog. It was December 29th and we all were huddled in a friend's room in the hostel, watching the movie late into the night. For the uninitiated, Slumdog Millionaire was released in India on January 23rd (almost a month AFTER I had seen it). But this post is not about piracy. This post is about India.
White Tiger (Aravind Adiga's Booker Prize winning novel) talks of two India(s) - India of Light and India of Darkness. He talks mostly about the India of Darkness where corruption is rampant, poverty forces children out of schools, the rich get away with murder, politicians fill their pockets with the common man's hard-earned money and the government remains indifferent. Somehow this India seems familiar to me.
Frankly, I saw nothing wrong with the book. People who claimed that the book showed India in a poor light should...well... go out often. It is true that Art imitates Life. They said that the author focused on only the bad aspects of living in India. Well, he IS a writer of fiction. He drew everyone's attention to the deplorable condition of the masses. He brought forward issues like Casteism that are often brushed under the carpet, irrespective of the fact that they are more rampant than ever. Reservation on the basis of caste, whether for higher or lower classes, is casteism nonetheless. Such efforts need to be lauded, not discouraged.
Slumdog was the story of rags-to-riches. From Hindu-Muslim riots to the gangsters residing in Mumbai's underbelly, the movie tried to show some of the things that were wrong with the country. However, the scene involving Amitabh Bachchan was wrongly glorified. Instead of saying things like "That was disgusting!" Big B should have questioned whether the human excrete Jamaal dived into was fake or not. After all, human rights of the child were involved.
The reason why some people found Slumdog atrocious was due to the stereotypes generated by the silver screen and the idiot-box. The poor working class hero of any YashRaj or Karan Johar film wears Gucci/Armani to work...everyday. The never-ending Saas-Bahu sagas feature divorces in which the poor hero has to give Rs 250 Crore as alimony to his ex-wife. No wonder people have trouble digesting the fact that nearly one-third of the population is not able to arrange for one square meal a day.
There is an interesting fact about ostriches. Whenever an ostrich feels that it is under attack, it buries its head in the ground assuming that if it cannot see the enemy, the enemy cannot see it. Ostrich hunters have whale of a time shooting such sitting ducks (did you notice the alliteration?). The people who believe that movies like Slumdog Millionaire or books like White Tiger are bad because they depict the truth are just like ostriches. Such morons have the notion that if they do not talk about a problem, it will go away. This notion is true if applied to attention-mongers like Rakhi Sawant (if you do NOT watch Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, chances are that you won't have to watch Rakhi Ka Divorce, or even Rakhi Ka Swayamvar Season Two), but not in case of problems that have plagued our country for years (Reservation, corruption, religious discrimination etc)
To summarize, there are issues which are more important than Rakhi marrying that bald Canadian guy. Issues that have been put aside for too long. Issues that need to be resolved before they divide the country even further.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Spun
Ever since Kareena got that Size-Zero figure, losing weight has become the new fitness mantra. While looking for some exercises that I can do without shelling out a lot of dough for joining a gym, I came across the following article.
Calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume:
Calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume:
- Beating around the bush ... ... ... 75
- Jumping to conclusions ... ... ... 100
- Climbing the walls ... ... ... 150
- Swallowing your pride ... ... ... 50
- Passing the buck ... ... ... 25
- Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) ... 50 - 300
- Dragging your heels ... ... ... 100
- Pushing your luck ... ... ... 250
- Making mountains out of molehills ... ... ... 500
- Hitting the nail on the head ... ... ... 50
- Wading through paperwork ... ... ... 300
- Bending over backwards ... ... ... 75
Monday, July 27, 2009
Cyberia
I have started looking for ways to promote the blog without pleading to all my friends to visit it.
I found quite a few blog directories that index various blogs far out in the unchartered waters of cyberspace.
Here is a list of a few that I visited:
It was quite late that I realized that I needed to be the owner of domain or the blog should be self-hosted for it to be submitted to these search engines.
Another glorious mistake!
I found quite a few blog directories that index various blogs far out in the unchartered waters of cyberspace.
Here is a list of a few that I visited:
It was quite late that I realized that I needed to be the owner of domain or the blog should be self-hosted for it to be submitted to these search engines.
Another glorious mistake!
To err is human, to forgive divine - Anonymous
Friday, July 24, 2009
Iron(y) Man
For some unfathomable reasons, Google rejected my application for an ad-sense account for this blog. I want my blog to display relevant advertisements and thus help me earn some extra allowance. However, the people at Google think otherwise. What is the problem if an average ordinary guy wants to earn money by penning down his thoughts? ...that too without using any profanities or talking about pre-marital affairs. I'm sure Chetan Bhagat never had any problems for finding sponsors for his website. There's irony hidden in it somewhere but you'd rather find it for yourself.
Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!
In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home...or whatever was left of it. Mayawati's supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the "inciting violence" infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But...they will do NOTHING.
Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I'm serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN'S STUPIDITY.
Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, "It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress." I'll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).
The most obvious question in your mind, "What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn't he get up and do something himself." Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing...the guy tried to bring about a change. And that's far better than complaining.
If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world...for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple...how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you'll always find me by your side. I hope you don't see irony here because none is intended.
Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!
In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home...or whatever was left of it. Mayawati's supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the "inciting violence" infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But...they will do NOTHING.
Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I'm serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN'S STUPIDITY.
Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, "It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress." I'll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).
The most obvious question in your mind, "What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn't he get up and do something himself." Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing...the guy tried to bring about a change. And that's far better than complaining.
If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world...for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple...how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you'll always find me by your side. I hope you don't see irony here because none is intended.
Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Complicated
Have you noticed something. All my posts have very strange names: Love Bites, Gotta be somebody, Take a Bow, Disturbia, Turn the Page...notice a pattern? Some sort of a hidden symbol? What is it?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Welcome to my life
Are you a software engineer?
Are you tired of sitting and working in a cubicle?
Do you find that the management guys have nothing better to do except use complex jargon and create silly acronyms?
Are you stuck in an organization whose every decision seems stupid and sometimes downright absurd?
Do you cringe at thought of understanding the dialect of managers?
And well, your boss is a loon?
Well, you are not alone.
Dilbert is exactly like you. You can find him on www.dilbert.com
A masterpiece of cartoonist Scott Adams, Dilbert provides you with insight that is necessary for a nerd/geek to survive and grow in the highly competitive world of software.
Why am I praising it? Because I love the cartoon strip and want to share it with you.
Of course, if you are bored with software projects and now want to move on to management, help is on the way. Read "The Dilbert Principle" by by management guru Scott Adams. Its the only management book you'll ever need. There's even an Indian flavour in one of Dilbert's co-workers called Asok.
So, enjoy the humour in our miserable cubicle-ized lives!
Are you tired of sitting and working in a cubicle?
Do you find that the management guys have nothing better to do except use complex jargon and create silly acronyms?
Are you stuck in an organization whose every decision seems stupid and sometimes downright absurd?
Do you cringe at thought of understanding the dialect of managers?
And well, your boss is a loon?
Well, you are not alone.
Dilbert is exactly like you. You can find him on www.dilbert.com
A masterpiece of cartoonist Scott Adams, Dilbert provides you with insight that is necessary for a nerd/geek to survive and grow in the highly competitive world of software.
Why am I praising it? Because I love the cartoon strip and want to share it with you.
Of course, if you are bored with software projects and now want to move on to management, help is on the way. Read "The Dilbert Principle" by by management guru Scott Adams. Its the only management book you'll ever need. There's even an Indian flavour in one of Dilbert's co-workers called Asok.
So, enjoy the humour in our miserable cubicle-ized lives!
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Love Bites
Love. One word with a thousand definitions. A word that is present in every culture, every civilization and every heart. So, it should be easy to define it. But unfortunately that is not so. The fact is, love is the most complicated implication of Life. Booorrrriiiinnnnggg! Why the heck am I rambling about something everybody knows?
Maybe because I'm fascinated by it. Not by being in love but by the concept itself. An emotion that forces people to make as many irrational decisions as possible before they come back to their senses and realize the folly of their ways. Anybody who has ever been in love knows what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unnecessary sleepless nights, the endless chats, the countless SMSes and never-ending conversations. Boy, don't they feel good.
And then... I've seen people grow out of their love. It's as if the love went its own way and left two wandering souls behind. Unfortunately, nobody realizes what happens. People are emotional fools. They are so dominated by their emotions that they don't realize when their thoughts change with their moods. I would love to name the person who left me in the lurch (see: Love Story and Love Story II) but of course, I won't. Its simply becuse I learnt so much from my own stupidity. I would love to thank her someday for lifting the veil of illusion in front of my eyes. It helped me a lot in understanding human psychology in a better light. After all, I'd been there, done that...I knew what it felt to have loved...and lost.
People are idiots. The Great Scott Adams has a great insight on the fact. According to him, every person on this planet is a moron everyday for atleast 5 minutes. And there are no exceptions. I have studied a lot of characters and know for a fact that the theory is true. If someone says that he did nothing stupid in the last hours, he probably did nothing at all. Which itself is quite stupid, wasting time just to prove a theory wrong. In case you are wondering who Scott Adams is, he is the creator of Dilbert. In case you are wondering who Dilbert is, you probably are not associated with life in cubicles.
Coming back to the topic, I think I should elaborate the connection between love and stupidity. Love is all about two way communication. Unless there is response from the other side, the relation is bound to fail. For the average layman, If the girl isn't interested in you, there is no force on the planet that can make her fall in love with you. Its that simple. In college, I never had a girl-friend. Okay, there was a silly love story but that was too pathetic to mention. Its not as if I was shunned by girls. I just did not have the time or money. I used to get sideways glances, slight facial gestures of recognition...those tiny signals that girls give out. You just have to pay attention to the details...like when a girl says "I'm fine" means that she is boiling with rage inside. It all in the details. Anyways, I could easily pick up the signals. No problem. Here is where stupidity comes in. A girl used to give me such signals, I could read it in her eyes. The thing was, I was too glad to have someone swooning over me. So glad that I ignored them. There would be plenty of time later. Later turned out to be eternity. She moved on. Thanks to my own stupidity, I missed out on Ms. Right. Lets just say she is no longer interested in me. I don't know whether she has found someone else.
The sad part is the guilt. I never got a chance to say that I loved her as well. Well, I did say it. But it was so late that no self respecting lady would have accepted. So, she did the obvious. Gave me the "Just Friends" routine. I think that she wanted to give me another chance but I did not deserve it.
So, I'm stuck with what could have been. I'll not say whether this girl was the same as the one in my previous love story entries. Better to create confusion in the minds of the readers (if any).
In any case, I came to realize something. Love stories are more beautiful if they have a sad ending. I don't know why, maybe its because humans are a sadist race (just look at the violence in everyone's favourite Tom and Jerry) or maybe because we love pain and cruelty. Yes, I said the same thing in two different ways. After all, take the best love stories our generation grew up on:
Romeo & Juliet
Laila & Majnu
Heer & Ranjha
etc etc etc
I guess we enjoy the pain. I just don't understand why.
The most romantic fantasies are the ones that remain unfulfilled. - Anurag
(If you happen to read this post, please do leave a comment. I would love to know what you think, even if its quite opposite of what I believe)
Maybe because I'm fascinated by it. Not by being in love but by the concept itself. An emotion that forces people to make as many irrational decisions as possible before they come back to their senses and realize the folly of their ways. Anybody who has ever been in love knows what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unnecessary sleepless nights, the endless chats, the countless SMSes and never-ending conversations. Boy, don't they feel good.
And then... I've seen people grow out of their love. It's as if the love went its own way and left two wandering souls behind. Unfortunately, nobody realizes what happens. People are emotional fools. They are so dominated by their emotions that they don't realize when their thoughts change with their moods. I would love to name the person who left me in the lurch (see: Love Story and Love Story II) but of course, I won't. Its simply becuse I learnt so much from my own stupidity. I would love to thank her someday for lifting the veil of illusion in front of my eyes. It helped me a lot in understanding human psychology in a better light. After all, I'd been there, done that...I knew what it felt to have loved...and lost.
People are idiots. The Great Scott Adams has a great insight on the fact. According to him, every person on this planet is a moron everyday for atleast 5 minutes. And there are no exceptions. I have studied a lot of characters and know for a fact that the theory is true. If someone says that he did nothing stupid in the last hours, he probably did nothing at all. Which itself is quite stupid, wasting time just to prove a theory wrong. In case you are wondering who Scott Adams is, he is the creator of Dilbert. In case you are wondering who Dilbert is, you probably are not associated with life in cubicles.
Coming back to the topic, I think I should elaborate the connection between love and stupidity. Love is all about two way communication. Unless there is response from the other side, the relation is bound to fail. For the average layman, If the girl isn't interested in you, there is no force on the planet that can make her fall in love with you. Its that simple. In college, I never had a girl-friend. Okay, there was a silly love story but that was too pathetic to mention. Its not as if I was shunned by girls. I just did not have the time or money. I used to get sideways glances, slight facial gestures of recognition...those tiny signals that girls give out. You just have to pay attention to the details...like when a girl says "I'm fine" means that she is boiling with rage inside. It all in the details. Anyways, I could easily pick up the signals. No problem. Here is where stupidity comes in. A girl used to give me such signals, I could read it in her eyes. The thing was, I was too glad to have someone swooning over me. So glad that I ignored them. There would be plenty of time later. Later turned out to be eternity. She moved on. Thanks to my own stupidity, I missed out on Ms. Right. Lets just say she is no longer interested in me. I don't know whether she has found someone else.
The sad part is the guilt. I never got a chance to say that I loved her as well. Well, I did say it. But it was so late that no self respecting lady would have accepted. So, she did the obvious. Gave me the "Just Friends" routine. I think that she wanted to give me another chance but I did not deserve it.
So, I'm stuck with what could have been. I'll not say whether this girl was the same as the one in my previous love story entries. Better to create confusion in the minds of the readers (if any).
In any case, I came to realize something. Love stories are more beautiful if they have a sad ending. I don't know why, maybe its because humans are a sadist race (just look at the violence in everyone's favourite Tom and Jerry) or maybe because we love pain and cruelty. Yes, I said the same thing in two different ways. After all, take the best love stories our generation grew up on:
Romeo & Juliet
Laila & Majnu
Heer & Ranjha
etc etc etc
I guess we enjoy the pain. I just don't understand why.
The most romantic fantasies are the ones that remain unfulfilled. - Anurag
(If you happen to read this post, please do leave a comment. I would love to know what you think, even if its quite opposite of what I believe)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Disturbia
A word that has made the entire world shudder and bow down on its knees - Recession.
Recession is everywhere, prices are rising like the beanstalk in Jack's backyard, there's no job security let alone job satisfaction. People are annnoyed, confused and scared. Anyone who dares to dream about the future finds this poltergeist hiding in the shadows. But is that it? Is everyone a victim or are there people who are making most of this appehensive mood of the masses?
Nowadays, everything can be blamed on recession. Lay-offs in big organizations, bankruptcy petitions, higher prices, fall in stock market have been associated with it for a long time. But there are others. Noida Police attributed the suicide of a young woman to...well...recession. Colleges are hiking their fees due to...greed...no....recession. It is omnipresent. Everyone wants this nightmare to end.
Come to think of it, does everyone actually want it to end? Organizations are making a killing. Before recession, it was 3 employees doing the work of 4 for a good salary. After recession, its 1 person doing the same amount of work for almost no salary. He is happy just because he still has a job. Employees will work overtime without thinking about bonus pay. Do you think the companies will want the situation to change quickly?
In the market, the prices can be adjusted without counting the demand factor. Hoard goods, tell everyone its recession, hike the prices and enjoy the festive season.
Then there's the eternal excuse of having something to blame for your own failure. Humans like to have a scapegoat whenever they make a blooper. Recession's the panacea. Did not score well in exams, its the economy's fault. India lost a cricket match, recession affected the team's morale. Can't present your girlfriend with that romantic teddy. Ahhh, recession. Do you think we can let go of such a beautiful fabrication.
And they say, no good comes from a recessive economy!
When your neighbour loses his job, it is called an economic slowdown. When you lose your job, it is a recession. But when an economist loses his job, it becomes a depression.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Losing my religion
Cricket is the gulli-danda of the elite - Laloo Prasad Yadav
India crashed out of the ICC T20 World Cup yesterday. The newspapers and channels are busy bashing Dhoni and his men for the defeat. But, is Dhoni the real villain?
Cricket, in India, is a religion. People live and breathe cricket. Cricketers like Sachin Tendulkar have temples dedicated to them. In a nation of over 1 billion fans, cricketers are demi-gods. The fans idolize them. And then, there are expectations.
Cricket has become such a competitive sport in the country that the few who do make it to the top are objects of adulation. However, the hopes of an entire nation are riding on their shoulders. So, what happens... India loses one match in a competition...the captain's house is ransacked, effigies of the players are burnt. And these shenanigans are not restricted to any particular city or region. The entire nation suffers from the mood swings.
This time around, the Men in Blue had a lot to live up to. They had won the first edition of the T20 World Cup and the entire country wanted them to retain the title. But, they did not make it. So, what went wrong?
If you have been watching the news lately, you would say, there was a drift in the team. You are absolutely wrong. Cricket has such a huge following in India that cricketers compete with film celebrities in the gossip columns. And gossip, by its very nature, is untrue.
This time the team was prepared well and there was not much on the publicity front. If the team is out of the news for some time, it means that the players are actually focussing on their game. But what the Great Indian Media had everyone believe was that there was infighting among the Men In Blue. As usual, Dhoni had to shift focus from his game to dispel the rumours. But the media latched on to his every word. Literally. His every move under scrutiny just to prove that all was not well within the team.
Now, Dhoni is a flamboyant personality. He likes being in the spotlight, but not for wrong reasons. So, he had to fight with the media when when he should have been concentrating on his team. The media further went on a killing spree and destroyed any chances of a good night's sleep for Captain Cool.
And then, the inevitable happens. The players, who were forced to shut up the media with a show of strength had been distracted from their goal. The media had been successful in destroying the peace and quiet in the Indian camp. They said the players performed below par. If you have ever been told that 1 billion people expected you to win against the top cricketing nations in the world, would you or would you not feel the pressure? The players did not show it, but they were under a lot of pressure. The news channels are having a field day cursing Dhoni for a lacklustre performance.
And they say that a rift between Sehwag and Dhoni cost us the title. Oh please, cut the crap!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Gotta Be Somebody
What are we but some of our experiences - Anonymous
Who is this Anurag anyway?
During school, Anurag was regarded as a dark horse. He was someone who would not give up even when all the chips were down.
He is attracted to mystery. Any puzzles/problems given to him would surely be solved, even if it means endless hours of effort.
Some of his friends regard him as an Encyclopedia. His unquenchable thirst for knowledge has helped him learn a little about everything. He is always ready to help anyone who approaches him.
Recently, Anurag was the President of ISTE, Student Chapter in his college. ISTE is responsible for organizing events like aptitude tests, group discussions etc. which are aimed at the overall development of the students. President means a bloated ego, right? Wrong!
Anurag would rather be 'near' the proverbial spotlight than be in it. There's an adventurous side to him too. He'd like to grow old without having any regrets about things he could've done. He'd rather do them!
Ethics and principles are very important to him. Although he doesn't sow it, he cares a lot about honesty and scruples. Conscience is a small voice in your head that says, "Dude, we could get caught. Better not do it." That puny voice utilizes a million amplifiers in his head. So, he stays away from things that might pluck at his conscience.
In case you thought that this character sketch was a wee bit... sketchy, here's a list of adjectives that Anurag thinks apply to him:
Audacious, amiable, bold, caring, calm, daring, friendly, frank, inquisitive, methodical, polite, sincere and understanding.
Note: The list is by no means exhaustive!
Also, he likes to boast a lot. He can sing his own praises day in and day out. Yet, he feels embarrassed if someone else appreciates his talent. Why? There is probably a screw loose somewhere in the enigmatic machine that is his brain.
(This article is written in the third person. I apologize, but I felt it easier to describe myself as seen from the eyes of a third party.)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Leader of Men
After the elections results are finally out, I'll resist the temptation to say "I told you so". Not because of any scruples, but because I didn't. Nobody did!
No one had any idea who would form the government this time around. There were genuine concerns over Mayawati finally fulfilling her dream and plunging this country into a horrendous nightmare.
What with only 44% voter turnout in Mumbai, the nightmare seemed liked becoming a reality. LK Advani, Mayawati, The Left Front...there was no one who was actually close to the public. The Congress itself was a mess trying to put together a non-existent alliance. Those concerned about the future of the country must have spent sleepless nights. I assure you, I wasn't one of them.
This time the elections were not about selecting the right candidates, it was about selecting those who would do the least damage. Irrespective of its notorious past (Bofors, Emergency etc.), the Congress this time was closer to the public's heart. Yeah, prices had risen, but they would have anyway. Yeah, there was recession, but it was handled superbly by the government. Although its allies kept threatening to destabilize it, the government stood firm on its ground. I'm talking about the Nuclear Deal. No, I don't know what it contained but if Manmohan Singh was ready to sacrifice his government for it, I would back it no matter what.
That's the whole point! Manmohan Singh may be one of the silent types but still he is a great leader. Leading by example. He does not ask anyone to obey his orders. He politely requests them on National TV to lend him their support. Better than Narendra Modi (or even LK Advani) who gain popularity by catering to the peoples' baser instincts...like xenophobia, religious discrimination etc.
These elections are not a victory for the Congress, they are a victory for democracy. Voter turnout was less. Those who did not vote should keep their mouths shut when the government makes any silly decision. After all, you had a choice, you made the wrong one. GTH!
There's no government like no government! - Anonymous
No one had any idea who would form the government this time around. There were genuine concerns over Mayawati finally fulfilling her dream and plunging this country into a horrendous nightmare.
What with only 44% voter turnout in Mumbai, the nightmare seemed liked becoming a reality. LK Advani, Mayawati, The Left Front...there was no one who was actually close to the public. The Congress itself was a mess trying to put together a non-existent alliance. Those concerned about the future of the country must have spent sleepless nights. I assure you, I wasn't one of them.
This time the elections were not about selecting the right candidates, it was about selecting those who would do the least damage. Irrespective of its notorious past (Bofors, Emergency etc.), the Congress this time was closer to the public's heart. Yeah, prices had risen, but they would have anyway. Yeah, there was recession, but it was handled superbly by the government. Although its allies kept threatening to destabilize it, the government stood firm on its ground. I'm talking about the Nuclear Deal. No, I don't know what it contained but if Manmohan Singh was ready to sacrifice his government for it, I would back it no matter what.
That's the whole point! Manmohan Singh may be one of the silent types but still he is a great leader. Leading by example. He does not ask anyone to obey his orders. He politely requests them on National TV to lend him their support. Better than Narendra Modi (or even LK Advani) who gain popularity by catering to the peoples' baser instincts...like xenophobia, religious discrimination etc.
These elections are not a victory for the Congress, they are a victory for democracy. Voter turnout was less. Those who did not vote should keep their mouths shut when the government makes any silly decision. After all, you had a choice, you made the wrong one. GTH!
Cheers to the Great Indian Democracy!
There's no government like no government! - Anonymous
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Take a Bow
I never thought I'd be writing this post. But now, the end is near.
In the week 27th April - 1st May, I organized SYNERGY 2K9. The name was given to the otherwise boorish sounding ISTE WEEK last year. President Aashish Aggarwal and VP Anurag Saxena had come up with a unique name for a mini tech-fest consisting of five events in a span of three days. Mr. Kapil Goyal, a notorious teacher from the Mechanical Department had said it was impossible. "In your face, KKG!" was our triumphant response at the end of three days.
Fast forward to 2009. I had already proved myself with ISTE WEEK (See: Tears in Heaven). The name Synergy was going to become a fixture every year. Planning was in full flow. And then it hit me. My last contribution to college. My last hurrah! After dedicating three years of my life to ISTE, it was finally time to say goodbye. I felt heavy. No more events, just spend some time peacefully as a regular, ordinary student. But the path chosen 3 years ago did not let me return to mediocrity. SYNERGY 2K9 was destined to happen.
This time around, all technical events. The list:
Tech-Chat was the answer to our prayers. Something that was loved by all...students as well as teachers. All applications duly signed and approved, all material bought. And so began the last dance.
The week preceding the events, I had gone to Ambala to place the order for the prizes. Nothing can be more embarrassing than selecting the trophy you are going to be presented with at the valedictory ceremony. I blushed but placed the order anyway.
In the prize distribution ceremony, I was where I had always wanted to be - on stage as an anchor. One last time!
May 1st 2009, 1545 IST: It was finally over. The name of the new President had been announced. Now was the time to be alone. ISTE had been my everything in college. I ran a lot less behind girls than I ran for events and meetings. It was fun, no doubt!
ISTE helped me salvage some pride. In a desolate middle-of-nowhere college run by a capricious management, it had given me hope. I used to think joining MMEC, Mullana had been the biggest mistake of my life. It wasn't. Whatever work I did, it benefitted me and my fellow students. I came in contact with talented individuals who were all ready to bring about a change in college.
The winds of change are blowing harder than ever. I just hope that the foundations of the college do not crumble under the pressure.
And now, I'm gone! In July, a new batch of students will arrive. And I'll be just a memory...fading away into ignominy.
Be the Change you to see in the world. - MK Gandhi
In the week 27th April - 1st May, I organized SYNERGY 2K9. The name was given to the otherwise boorish sounding ISTE WEEK last year. President Aashish Aggarwal and VP Anurag Saxena had come up with a unique name for a mini tech-fest consisting of five events in a span of three days. Mr. Kapil Goyal, a notorious teacher from the Mechanical Department had said it was impossible. "In your face, KKG!" was our triumphant response at the end of three days.
Fast forward to 2009. I had already proved myself with ISTE WEEK (See: Tears in Heaven). The name Synergy was going to become a fixture every year. Planning was in full flow. And then it hit me. My last contribution to college. My last hurrah! After dedicating three years of my life to ISTE, it was finally time to say goodbye. I felt heavy. No more events, just spend some time peacefully as a regular, ordinary student. But the path chosen 3 years ago did not let me return to mediocrity. SYNERGY 2K9 was destined to happen.
This time around, all technical events. The list:
- Tech Yard
- Web Hunt 2.0
- Bravado - The Corporate Quiz
- Bit Fighters
- Gladiator's Arena
Tech-Chat was the answer to our prayers. Something that was loved by all...students as well as teachers. All applications duly signed and approved, all material bought. And so began the last dance.
The week preceding the events, I had gone to Ambala to place the order for the prizes. Nothing can be more embarrassing than selecting the trophy you are going to be presented with at the valedictory ceremony. I blushed but placed the order anyway.
In the prize distribution ceremony, I was where I had always wanted to be - on stage as an anchor. One last time!
May 1st 2009, 1545 IST: It was finally over. The name of the new President had been announced. Now was the time to be alone. ISTE had been my everything in college. I ran a lot less behind girls than I ran for events and meetings. It was fun, no doubt!
ISTE helped me salvage some pride. In a desolate middle-of-nowhere college run by a capricious management, it had given me hope. I used to think joining MMEC, Mullana had been the biggest mistake of my life. It wasn't. Whatever work I did, it benefitted me and my fellow students. I came in contact with talented individuals who were all ready to bring about a change in college.
The winds of change are blowing harder than ever. I just hope that the foundations of the college do not crumble under the pressure.
And now, I'm gone! In July, a new batch of students will arrive. And I'll be just a memory...fading away into ignominy.
Goodbye ISTE, it was worth every moment!
Be the Change you to see in the world. - MK Gandhi
Friday, May 01, 2009
The Quest
In college, one of the things i discovered were WebHunts. These were tidy little sites which could fry anyone's brains.
The simplest was:
www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
Once I was addicted, there was no looking back. I solved Klueless, Notpr()n and a lot of the like. The concept is simple, get to the next page by solving the clue given on the current page. Sounds easy, right. It isn't!
And then, I had one of those bizzare ideas. Why don't I create a WebHunt of my own?
ISTE's Synergy 2K8 proved the perfect platform for its launch. I don't know if it will be available anymore, but here's the link:
http://return.of.moriarty.googlepages.com
I got a lot of positive criticism (Why diidn't you make one earlier? was the most common question).
Fast forward to February 2009... Planning for the eagerly awaited Synergy 2K9 had started. And another WebHunt was forming in my mind.
Voila, WebHunt 2.0 was launched:
http://istemullana.googlepages.com/webhunt
GooglePages is going to migrate soon to Google Sites. And probably the WebHunt will be destroyed.
But, it was fun while it lasted!!
You can try the WebHunts whenever you like, and if you really get stuck...you know where to find me.
The simplest was:
www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
Once I was addicted, there was no looking back. I solved Klueless, Notpr()n and a lot of the like. The concept is simple, get to the next page by solving the clue given on the current page. Sounds easy, right. It isn't!
And then, I had one of those bizzare ideas. Why don't I create a WebHunt of my own?
ISTE's Synergy 2K8 proved the perfect platform for its launch. I don't know if it will be available anymore, but here's the link:
http://return.of.moriarty.googlepages.com
I got a lot of positive criticism (Why diidn't you make one earlier? was the most common question).
Fast forward to February 2009... Planning for the eagerly awaited Synergy 2K9 had started. And another WebHunt was forming in my mind.
Voila, WebHunt 2.0 was launched:
http://istemullana.googlepages.com/webhunt
GooglePages is going to migrate soon to Google Sites. And probably the WebHunt will be destroyed.
But, it was fun while it lasted!!
You can try the WebHunts whenever you like, and if you really get stuck...you know where to find me.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
India in Slow Motion
Sometimes fiction is nothing as compared to real life. Sometimes, a writer's words do not capture the true essence of his thoughts. Its during times like these that I switch to reading non-fiction. Mark Tully's book; India in slow motion; turned out to be the newest entrant to my book-shelf.
The book is dedicated to all those who are striving for the good of India. It sure mentions a few of them. Mark Tully himself has a great deal of love for this country. Sure, he may look and speak like any another foreigner, his sympathy for this country matches that of any contemporary patriot. Born in Calcutta (now Kolkata) and educated in England, Mark Tully was a correspondent for the BBC in South Asia for 25 years. In 2002, he was working as a journalist in New Delhi.
Tully mentions Gillian Wright; his partner in many of his escapades; as co-author. However, the book is written from his own perspective. A book about India! I felt a deep sense of pride as I first read the cover. However, the contents of the book did shake that pride a little.
In the book, India is presented through the eyes of an outsider. A stranger in a strange land. He dwells on the glory of India's heritage and swiftly moves on to the deplorable condition the country is in today. No, he does not focus on the poverty and the down-trodden like another famous foreigner (Danny Boyle, anyone!). He focuses on other serious issues, highlighting how this country hasn't been able to out of its colonial mindset. How red tape and bureaucracy (babudom) are still holding back the potential of the largest democracy in the world.
The purpose of "India in Slow Motion" was not to highlight the problems faced by this country. India is often depicted as a victim of forces too wild to be controlled - of post-colonial malaise, of religious strife, of the caste system, of a corrupt bureaucratic machine. The book argues that change is possible and solutions do exist. It looks at the people who are trying to bring about this change.
The book is in the form of short stories written in the first person. Mark Tully has personally interviewed quite a few soldiers of truth. There is Mathew Samuel - the journalist from Tehelka.com who exposed the corruption in arms procurement in the Defense services. Also, there is Aruna Roy - one of the major proponents of the Right to Information Act. She was the one who got Right to Information implemented in Rajasthan even when the RTI was just a bill in the Parliament.
"India in Slow Motion" securely grasps the essence of the enigma that is India. A Third World country that has all the ingredients to become a Superpower but is hindered by the enemy within. Even if you are not an Indian, this book provides very deep insight and may even force you to re-think any preconceived notions you may have about this country.
In everything he writes, Tully's sympathy for and knowledge of India shines through...He is, indeed, incomparable among foreign observers of that bewildering, maddening, utterly enchanting medley of peoples.
- Geoffrey Moorhouse, The Guardian
PS. Mark Tully did not pay me to write this review. But I do feel that any person who thinks of himself as an Indian should read the book.
The book is dedicated to all those who are striving for the good of India. It sure mentions a few of them. Mark Tully himself has a great deal of love for this country. Sure, he may look and speak like any another foreigner, his sympathy for this country matches that of any contemporary patriot. Born in Calcutta (now Kolkata) and educated in England, Mark Tully was a correspondent for the BBC in South Asia for 25 years. In 2002, he was working as a journalist in New Delhi.
Tully mentions Gillian Wright; his partner in many of his escapades; as co-author. However, the book is written from his own perspective. A book about India! I felt a deep sense of pride as I first read the cover. However, the contents of the book did shake that pride a little.
In the book, India is presented through the eyes of an outsider. A stranger in a strange land. He dwells on the glory of India's heritage and swiftly moves on to the deplorable condition the country is in today. No, he does not focus on the poverty and the down-trodden like another famous foreigner (Danny Boyle, anyone!). He focuses on other serious issues, highlighting how this country hasn't been able to out of its colonial mindset. How red tape and bureaucracy (babudom) are still holding back the potential of the largest democracy in the world.
The purpose of "India in Slow Motion" was not to highlight the problems faced by this country. India is often depicted as a victim of forces too wild to be controlled - of post-colonial malaise, of religious strife, of the caste system, of a corrupt bureaucratic machine. The book argues that change is possible and solutions do exist. It looks at the people who are trying to bring about this change.
The book is in the form of short stories written in the first person. Mark Tully has personally interviewed quite a few soldiers of truth. There is Mathew Samuel - the journalist from Tehelka.com who exposed the corruption in arms procurement in the Defense services. Also, there is Aruna Roy - one of the major proponents of the Right to Information Act. She was the one who got Right to Information implemented in Rajasthan even when the RTI was just a bill in the Parliament.
"India in Slow Motion" securely grasps the essence of the enigma that is India. A Third World country that has all the ingredients to become a Superpower but is hindered by the enemy within. Even if you are not an Indian, this book provides very deep insight and may even force you to re-think any preconceived notions you may have about this country.
In everything he writes, Tully's sympathy for and knowledge of India shines through...He is, indeed, incomparable among foreign observers of that bewildering, maddening, utterly enchanting medley of peoples.
- Geoffrey Moorhouse, The Guardian
PS. Mark Tully did not pay me to write this review. But I do feel that any person who thinks of himself as an Indian should read the book.
Gandhi - the Vision and the Glasses
Congratulations to all my brethren for getting back what was rightfully ours. A certain pair of glasses that were under the hammer at a very big auction. India's prestige has been restored in the International community. Vijay Mallya turned out to be the greatest patriot of 'em all by shelling out a cool $ 1.8 million for the Gandhi Goodies©.
Somehow, I've begun to doubt my own sense of patriotism. My chest just refused to swell with pride when the news was announced. I apologize to Indrajit Hazra for quoting him here with the quote unquoted as he quoted exactly what I had been thinking.
My only question is: If we Indians wanted the Gandhi Goodies © (glasses, slippers, bowl and blood report)so badly, why did we ask the government to get them for us? After all, unlike the Kohinoor diamond and most of the Indian artifacts scattered across various museums around the world, these Gandhi Goodies© weren't stolen property that left an unholy imperialist-hegemonic ooze-trail across continents and time. This was fair and square deal in which the owner of the Gandhi Goodies© had decided to sell them to the highest bidder...No burglaries, no customs rackets, no Tomb Raider sequences, no RSS hanky-panky that we are so familiar with...All legit. So, why couldn't one of us, so keen to suck every Gandhi item scattered across the globe, raise his hand and make a bid at the Antiquorum auction last Tuesday night at New York?
No, you don't have to answer the above question. Not that I expect you to, anyway. What's the big deal with the glasses? I thought Gandhi was about ideology and not idol worship.Frankly, I have come to accept the Great Indian Hypocrisy as a way of life. To think of it, alcohol was the vilest thing according to Gandhi (That's why October 2 is a Dry Day!). Almost six decades after his death, India; his own country; cheered while his belongings were purchased at an auction by India's biggest liquor baron. Another one bites the dust in front of the Great Indian Hypocrisy! May his soul rest in peace.
This one flew right over the KINGFISHER's nest!
Somehow, I've begun to doubt my own sense of patriotism. My chest just refused to swell with pride when the news was announced. I apologize to Indrajit Hazra for quoting him here with the quote unquoted as he quoted exactly what I had been thinking.
My only question is: If we Indians wanted the Gandhi Goodies © (glasses, slippers, bowl and blood report)so badly, why did we ask the government to get them for us? After all, unlike the Kohinoor diamond and most of the Indian artifacts scattered across various museums around the world, these Gandhi Goodies© weren't stolen property that left an unholy imperialist-hegemonic ooze-trail across continents and time. This was fair and square deal in which the owner of the Gandhi Goodies© had decided to sell them to the highest bidder...No burglaries, no customs rackets, no Tomb Raider sequences, no RSS hanky-panky that we are so familiar with...All legit. So, why couldn't one of us, so keen to suck every Gandhi item scattered across the globe, raise his hand and make a bid at the Antiquorum auction last Tuesday night at New York?
No, you don't have to answer the above question. Not that I expect you to, anyway. What's the big deal with the glasses? I thought Gandhi was about ideology and not idol worship.Frankly, I have come to accept the Great Indian Hypocrisy as a way of life. To think of it, alcohol was the vilest thing according to Gandhi (That's why October 2 is a Dry Day!). Almost six decades after his death, India; his own country; cheered while his belongings were purchased at an auction by India's biggest liquor baron. Another one bites the dust in front of the Great Indian Hypocrisy! May his soul rest in peace.
This one flew right over the KINGFISHER's nest!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Epoch
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
The following events took place between 12th Feb 2008 and 12th Feb, 2009
February '08
March '08
April '08
May '08
June '08
July '08
August '08
September '08
October '08
November '08
December '08
January '09
February '09
The preceding events happened between 12th Feb, 2008 (The date I was selected by Infosys) and 11th Feb, 2009 (the date I got my offer-cum-joining letter)
H. W. Longfellow
The following events took place between 12th Feb 2008 and 12th Feb, 2009
February '08
- Infosys recruitment drive at MMEC, Mullana. I got selected by my dream company. How? Check this out.
- Immediately after the selection, I head off to Lucknow for my cousin's marriage.
- Within one week of the placement drive, "Trojans" was born. Nishant and I founded the society for the students of computers department.
March '08
- Literati '08 held at NIT Kurukshetra. One event Junkyard Wars caught my fancy. It would not be until November that I would be able to realize my dream. Read my exploits by clicking here.
- My love story took a nosedive. Read about it here.
April '08
- ISTE organized Synergy - 2K8. Five events in the space of three days. Encoding, Paper presentation, quiz, Big Fight and Webhunt. I paid my tribute to those crazy, whacky net puzzles like Klueless with my own Webhunt. Click here for details.
- Won first prize in Trojan Hunt, Nishant's rendition of NIT's webhunt. I would not have participated if it had not felt like a challenge from him to me. He's good! He managed to bag second in my WebHunt. Quite a few eyebrows were raised but both of us knew the truth. We had not cheated. Our consciences were clear and that's what mattered the most.
May '08
- A major fiasco - the closing ceremony of Trojans. Somehow, the show fell to pieces. Oh well, the less the said the better.
- ISTE's end of the year party at our favourite dhaba. I raised a toast to four very special seniors; Aashish Aggarwal, Varun Soni, Vikas Goyal and Sandeep Dhiman. If it had not been for them, I would still be just an unknown face in the crowd at MMEC.
June '08
- The semester papers started after preparatory holidays that lasted for almost a month. Life was hell in the scorching summer.
July '08
- I took my tiffin-box of a PC to Chandigarh and got it upgraded. Wrote as many articles as possible for my blog. No, I'm not going to place links to all of them. If you are interested, look them up in my blog.
- My love story found a new chapter. Unfortunately, the sequel had an even more agonizing ending. Damn!
August '08
- Found my lost groove with the help and support of a great friend, Prashant Diggi. Playing Pro Evolution Soccer 6 at his home brought back my touch on the real ground. I have no explanations for it. Playing football on the PC improved my game on the ground too. Magic!
September '08
- My final year at MMEC begins. ISTE has a new President. And all hell breaks loose.
- Abhivyakti-2008, our college fest taught me a valuable lesson. Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. Every night during the fest was like an audition straight out of Roadies.
October '08
- Symptoms of imbecility were being shown by the President of ISTE. I was confused, nervous and unsure.
- Infosys Campus Connect (Soft Skills training) was held in our college. Fortunately, it managed to bring me back from the dead.
November '08
- ISTE Week was organized and we went where no MMECian had gone before. Six events in the span of 4 days. The events themselves had never been conducted in our college before. Reverse coding, Half-A-Minute, Turncoat, Youth Parliament, Big Fight and my favourite: Techyard. The mini fest got rave reviews and woke up the college management. And I had regained my confidence. The details are all placed here.
December '08
- Exam time again! 9 more papers and I would earn the title of Engineer.
- Presentation - the only thing I contributed to my team's minor project. Heck, I had been too busy pondering over what I could do that I actually did nothing. Embarrassing; but I had learnt another lesson.
January '09
- Watched 'Slumdog Millionaire'. I just can't understand these self-professed protectors of Indian culture. Great Indian Hypocrisy! My sister has already copyrighted the title so I can't write anything else about it (Do I even need to?). I'll place the link to her blog as soon as she publishes it.
February '09
- The Final Frontier! Last semester at Mullana. I've written a lot about my college. Check out the stuff here and here. Love it or hate it, its my college anyway!
- Infosys; after a gap of exactly 365 days; sent us our joining letters. Its official, I'm an Infoscion! Absolute bliss!
The preceding events happened between 12
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Turn the Page
It was a fine Tuesday evening. Masterji was returning home from school. He teaches in the government school in a nearby village. The school happens to be the only one in the district. As he walked down the battered road, he let his mind to dwell upon the day's happenings. Today, Charan was absent. His father was lying drunk in the middle of the road last night when a truck ran over him. Preeti too would not be able to attend classes. Her parents had strong objections to sending their girl to school. Masterji would have to stop by their house tonight and try to convince them...again. His class consists of ten students. He can't let ignorance block the path to knowledge.
Masterji was engrossed in his musings when something caught his eye. A hundred rupee note was lying on the ground.
Masterji teaches Moral Science at the government school. He also teaches Hindi, Maths and Science along with anything that he feels will help the students. Masterji had now stopped beside the hundred rupee note. A look around told him that nobody was watching.
Masterji is a religious person. He spends thirty minutes in silent meditation and prayer every morning. Also, he is very dedicated and sincere towards his job. Many teachers had refused to work at his present position. A lot of them had pulled even greater number of strings to get transfers to someplace more urbane. However, Masterji had stayed behind. He wanted to help in his country's progress. "The real India is in the villages", he vaguely remembered the quote.
Masterji owns a bicycle. However, he likes walking the five kilometres to school. Today, A hundred rupee note was lying right in front of him. He could make out a few people standing quite some distance away. What should he do? He had been standing and thinking for over fifteen minutes now.
Masterji stooped. With an elegant stretch of the limbs, the note was in his pocket. Nobody saw him. Masterji walked on to his home.
It is true that Masterji teaches Moral Science at a government school. It is also true that he is the ONLY teacher at the government school. It is also true that he hasn't received his salary for the past six months.
Only the educated are free. - Epitectus
(Inspired from a short story that I had read somewhere a very very long time ago. I don't remember the name of the original author. In fact, I only remember the gist of the story. This is my adapted version of the Hindi original. This line issued in the spirit of GNU. Give credit where it is due.)
Masterji was engrossed in his musings when something caught his eye. A hundred rupee note was lying on the ground.
Masterji teaches Moral Science at the government school. He also teaches Hindi, Maths and Science along with anything that he feels will help the students. Masterji had now stopped beside the hundred rupee note. A look around told him that nobody was watching.
Masterji is a religious person. He spends thirty minutes in silent meditation and prayer every morning. Also, he is very dedicated and sincere towards his job. Many teachers had refused to work at his present position. A lot of them had pulled even greater number of strings to get transfers to someplace more urbane. However, Masterji had stayed behind. He wanted to help in his country's progress. "The real India is in the villages", he vaguely remembered the quote.
Masterji owns a bicycle. However, he likes walking the five kilometres to school. Today, A hundred rupee note was lying right in front of him. He could make out a few people standing quite some distance away. What should he do? He had been standing and thinking for over fifteen minutes now.
Masterji stooped. With an elegant stretch of the limbs, the note was in his pocket. Nobody saw him. Masterji walked on to his home.
It is true that Masterji teaches Moral Science at a government school. It is also true that he is the ONLY teacher at the government school. It is also true that he hasn't received his salary for the past six months.
Only the educated are free. - Epitectus
(Inspired from a short story that I had read somewhere a very very long time ago. I don't remember the name of the original author. In fact, I only remember the gist of the story. This is my adapted version of the Hindi original. This line issued in the spirit of GNU. Give credit where it is due.)
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