The State of the Republic

The sovereign, socialist, democratic nation of India adopted its constitution on 26 November, 1949 and began commemorating this iconic feat every January. Yesterday, we celebrated 60 years as a Republic. On this momentous occasion, lets go through how our constitution has helped us develop as a country:

The Fundamental Right to Freedom
Everyone in this country is allowed to have his/her own opinion. Let me illustrate with an example. Suppose you are a notable bare-footed painter. You will realize that people who do not like your works can express their disapproval by ransacking exhibitions and burning your paintings in broad daylight. The right to freedom of expression stops the police from checking this menace.
We also have freedom to reside and settle in any part of the territory of India and practice any profession. I wonder whether Raj Thakeray knows about it.

Right to Equality
All men are equal, some men are more equal than others.
Have you ever stood in line in front of a government office and spied the occasional bureaucrat taking his acquaintance aside and pushing his file before any else? If the answer is no, this blog isn't meant for you.
Women of our country want to be treated as equals and yet scream for reservation when it comes to seats in the Parliament and the Metro. Plus, I believe I'm going to be labeled a sexist because the first line of this paragraph does not contain any representation for the fairer sex. Damn!

Right to Vote
A right/duty given to every Indian above 18 years of age. Mumbai registered 45% voter turnout in the last elections. I wonder why they complain when corrupt politicians get elected. Votes can bought everywhere in the country except on eBay (they should change their advertisements).

Right to Education
Only 44 deemed universities were de-recognized by the Education Ministry before the apex court ordered a status quo. How does anyone shoot one's self in the leg? Its quite similar to the way our country introduces self-defeating reforms.
Remember Slumdog Millionaire? 'The Three Musketeers' was never in our syllabus. But we have read saffron-ized history that changed with the change in regime. Here's an interesting story on the plight of education in India.

Right to Constitutional remedies
I wonder what our fundamental right to approach the courts for justice was called. In India, Justice is blind. Absolutely blind! Try going on a shooting spree in a busy city at midnight and leave behind CCTV footage of the carnage as well as a hundred corpses. Years would pass by while the Supreme Court would let the government spend crores on your protection while you call yourself an aspiring actor in Bollywood. Why don't you simply rape a minor and get staggering 6 months in jail?

Right to Freedom of Religion
According to our constitution, no person can be discriminated against on the basis of his/her religion. Ironic, isn't it?

Right against Exploitation
The Wikipedia article on our fundamental rights says that the Right against Exploitation covers:

• Child labour (below 14 years of age)
• Forced labour
• Trafficking
• Slavery

The middle/cattle class and lower classes have long been exploited by the upper classes. Nothing for us down-trodden folks. Even OBCs have it better than poor old 'General' category.

And this concludes our lesson in Social Sciences. Be proud of our heritage - the land of Narendra Modi, Bal & Raj Thakeray and L K Advani (Names represent only the creamy layer of villainous evil-eyed fly-bitten ruffians).


P.S. The right to vote is not a fundamental right.

2009 – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Here's a list of events that shaped the year that was (categorized according to the title of the post – the G, B and the U)

Annus Mirabilis

Jai Ho became a national pseudo-anthem with the advent of Slumdog Millionaire. Everyone in the film fraternity was raving about the fabulous work Danny Boyle had done, before they were reminded that the movie officially released on January 23rd and they should hold their tongues for a few weeks. Meanwhile, A R Rehman reached the same league as Yanni, Kenny G and Steven Vai.

James Cameron showed the world how mankind was responsible for destroying the planet and humans were completely at war with Mother Nature. However, we were totally bedazzled by the breathtaking visuals of Pandora created using cutting edge technology and too awestruck to take notice of the implied message.

Valentine's Day passed smoothly without any of our culture brigades putting up a show. What we had instead, were ladies from all walks of life contributing their rose colored undergarments to the collection of a certain leader of a Bangalore based Sena.

The Indian government suddenly turned brave in front of our red oppressors. First, it was UPA kicking the Left Front in the butt. Then it was the Chinese. The Chinese said they did not like Manmohan Singh roaming about in disputed territory. Instead of meekly apologizing like he was used to, the PM told the Chinese to get their eyes checked and the territory was Arunachal Pradesh – an integral part of the Republic of India (Take that, chinis). Basking in the glory of two red victories, the government turned its attention to the enemy within – The Maoists/Naxals – the toughest enemy among the red brigade.

Nano finally hit the Indian roads. Tata is making the people's car at a loss but as Ratan Tata said – Its not about the market forces. Its about the promise he had made to the average Indian.

Dan Brown released “The Lost Symbol”. Although the book created history of sorts with with record-breaking opening sales, it really was no match for certain angst-ridden teenage vampire romances that emerged in a new avatar on the silver screen.

Microsoft launched Windows 7. Hackers around the world rejoiced. All viruses they had written for Vista required hardly two lines of code to become Windows 7 compatible. All thanks to Microsoft!

Kaminey taught uf that lifping waf and ftill if Cool.

Even after fifty years, one small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against invaders. And life's not easy for the Roman legionaries that garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.

The new-age ministers in the UPA government turned the bureaucracy on its head. Shashi Tharoor was tweeting away to glory and connecting to the cattle class while Kapil Sibal tried to massacre our age-old rote based education system.

Chetan Bhagat finally learnt how to write. 'Two States' actually brought out the best in him. And depicted the truth when it said the only Tamil word that North Indians understand is ille.

Rahul Gandhi turned out to be great strategist and politician. He showed what he meant by connecting with the people – he was traveling in a Metro, eating dinner at a Dalit's home, journeying economy class by train and generally being nice to everyone around him. As a bonus, the antics of his sycophants took the news to the humor section as well. (One had dinner at a Dalit's home but not without a special order from a 5 Star hotel, napkins and mineral water)

The divide between politicians, celebrities, film stars and the common man blurred within 140 characters or less. Barack Obama, Shashi Tharoor, Priyanka Chopra, Mallika Sherawat, Gul Panag, MTV India and even Anurag Saxena – everyone who was anyone was sharing with everyone what they had for breakfast.


Annus Horribilis

In sync with the American military antics of 'shock and awe', 'preemptive attack' and the like, the Nobel Committee went for a 'preemptive strike' of its own – awarding Barack Obama a Peace prize.

Recession officially arrived in India with major IT companies like TCS going for corporate restructuring (for non-management types, read layoffs)

We always had corrupt politicians. But it was Madhu Koda who upped the ante. Rs 40,000,000,000 – estimated amount of money he siphoned off. Unfortunately, they say he is just a scapegoat.

BJP turned on itself. The whole country watched in amazement as the party entered “Self-destruct” mode. Jaswant Singh, a founding member, was expelled without so much as a show-cause notice. Advani's bid to become PM forced him to make unnecessary sacrifices and he ended up without friends. And now, we are faced with the threat of Narendra Modi, a genocidal CM, becoming BJP's nominee for the post of Prime Minister of this country.

Some of us really entertained the possibility of going to war with the Red people of the Yellow river. We had cultural exchanges along our borders – they showed us how to intimidate neighbors by painting graffiti on rocks and we showed them how to get intimidated by harmless graffiti.

The King of Pop finally became confined to the pages of HIStory. He may or may not have been a lover of children, but Billie Jean was not his girl. The smooth criminal beat it before his grand tour kicked off. His unbreakable memory would remain in our hearts and we all would definitely remember the time.

I no longer wonder why we still haven't attacked Pakistan yet. Its because we don't need to. Pakistan's already crumbling under the weight of the unholy nexus between Taliban, Mujahideens, ISI, its Army and the US troops. And now everyone's gunning for the head of this toxic alliance - Asif Ali Zardari.

It was with deep regret that we were informed of the demise of “Hamara Bajaj”. And with it, two of the greatest marvels of automobile industry – Maruti 800 and Bajaj Chetak, faded away into the history books.

Anyone with cable TV at home was bombarded with reality shows left, right and center. We had a music channel that stopped airing songs (Guess who!), a channel with dropping TRPs that resorted to showing shower scenes in a jungle during prime-time television, a channel that tried its hand at philanthropy by marrying off Rakhi Sawant to a Canadian (but tragically failed, kudos for trying) and is now trying its hand at public service again by tying Rahul Mahajan into wedlock.

Hollywood, looking at the global meltdown and Wall Street collapse, went into a state of depression. As a result, disaster/doomsday/zombie/conspiracy movies were churned out by the dozen. We had 2012, Zombieland, Knowing, Watchmen, Transformers 2, G-Force and around 50 other zombie movies among many more that had mankind's destruction as the main theme.


Annus Catastrophicus

Representatives of almost all countries gathered in Copenhagen to pen down a concord to stop global warming. Jairam Ramesh forgot whether our country is a developing or a developed nation. The Chinese did what they do best – whatever that may be, but it had something to do with escaping from the Summit without any strict regulations to follow. Finally, the Summit ended with only one resolution – where to meet for next year's summit.

A certain Rao showed us the power of human will. He showed us how to get our own state under the sovereign secular republic of India by suppressing the need to feed. We now have demands for Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Telangana and numerous others gaining momentum just because P Chidambram couldn't handle a person starving. Hopefully, maybe he'll listen to the demands of the BPL next.

Mayawati is still the CM of Uttar Pradesh.

Another Indian made it on the Forbes list for the first and probably the last time – Ramalinga Raju was in Forbes top list of world's worst CEOs. But he must be on the top of the “People who would never have been caught if they had not confessed” list.

The feline entrance test to the Meccas of Management went completely online. It would have been great, if only there weren't any virus attacks, if only all papers were of the same level, if only the papers had not contained questions from old papers, if only all examinees had been able to complete the test with their tests not ending prematurely, if only...

Finally, after spending four years in a madhouse called MMEC, I was finally declared fit to rejoin civilization as just another harmless software engineer. Infy, beware!

The Great Indian Bureaucracy

It’s almost incredible how we blame everything on the government. Somehow, every evil that resides in the heart of our country is because of the dirty politicians. Or is it?

Since time immemorial, we have found ways to put everything on the shoulders of the few in power. But what we have failed to realize is that maybe the Devil has been painted blacker than He actually is. The biggest problem ailing our country is not politics but the bureaucracy. The Devil is not black. He is red and taped to a file near you.

How many of us shudder at the thought of going to a government office? In other words, how many of us have delved into our phone-books for a name that will help us avoid a trip to the nearest bureaucratic headquarters? Remember the time when you bribed an official so that your file would be taken care of earlier than others? Or the time when you got an agent to get a registered driver's license so that you would not have to wait for endless hours in a serpentine queue? Maybe you’ll remember the latest incident when you jumped a red light and had to part ways with a five hundred rupee note that now rests in the shirt pocket of an alert traffic official.

But are they really to blame? If you have ever visited the inside of a government office you would feel surprised that they actually manage to get some work done. Files, folders and scraps of paper stacked together provide habitat to thousands of endangered species of insects. Cupboards provide shelter to adult pigeons and their families. It’s amazing the employees are actually able to locate certain files while misplacing thousands of others. No wonder they require certain incentive for working on any file, unsympathetically called "Bribe". This incentive is the only reason government officials disregard any concerns for their own safety and work for the uplift of the community.

Politicians hardly have any say in the matter. Quite a few of them are only concerned with filling their own pockets and so they let sleeping dogs lie. Some others, filled with a misplaced sense of patriotism and altruism, try to bring about “monumental" changes. Another minuscule number of politicians, satisfied that they have taken enough from the community, decide to give something back to the country. They propose reforms and changes, blissfully unaware that by the time their ideas begin to take a definite shape five years would have passed and their legacy would be buried in an inconspicuous file in a desolate government office. Many long-term thinkers realize the irony in working five years without any hope of re-election and then being blamed for inefficiency. So they peacefully pass their term in office, promising everything but achieving nothing. This saves them the trouble of unappreciated effort.

Bureaucrats are the real power-brokers in India. People at the centre change every five years, sometimes within 13 days, but bureaucrats persist. They do not pledge allegiance to a particular party but to the nation. But they are too pre-occupied with the malfunctioning red light atop their SUVs or getting their wards out of jail for shooting people in broad daylight. As a consequence, try as they might, they just can't spare any thought for the common man.

Frankly, I have grown too tired (and poor) by bribing every peon/clerk/registrar/policeman/misc I encounter. I humbly request the powers that be to have some pity on my plight and exempt me from paying this VAT called bribe. I would be greatly obliged. Please find a note of 500 rupees attached for all the trouble caused to you.

Yours truly

A Common Man

Iron(y) Man

For some unfathomable reasons, Google rejected my application for an ad-sense account for this blog. I want my blog to display relevant advertisements and thus help me earn some extra allowance. However, the people at Google think otherwise. What is the problem if an average ordinary guy wants to earn money by penning down his thoughts? ...that too without using any profanities or talking about pre-marital affairs. I'm sure Chetan Bhagat never had any problems for finding sponsors for his website. There's irony hidden in it somewhere but you'd rather find it for yourself.

Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!

In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home...or whatever was left of it. Mayawati's supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the "inciting violence" infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But...they will do NOTHING.

Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I'm serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN'S STUPIDITY.

Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, "It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress." I'll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).

The most obvious question in your mind, "What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn't he get up and do something himself." Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing...the guy tried to bring about a change. And that's far better than complaining.

If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world...for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple...how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you'll always find me by your side. I hope you don't see irony here because none is intended.

Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Leader of Men

After the elections results are finally out, I'll resist the temptation to say "I told you so". Not because of any scruples, but because I didn't. Nobody did!

No one had any idea who would form the government this time around. There were genuine concerns over Mayawati finally fulfilling her dream and plunging this country into a horrendous nightmare.

What with only 44% voter turnout in Mumbai, the nightmare seemed liked becoming a reality. LK Advani, Mayawati, The Left Front...there was no one who was actually close to the public. The Congress itself was a mess trying to put together a non-existent alliance. Those concerned about the future of the country must have spent sleepless nights. I assure you, I wasn't one of them.

This time the elections were not about selecting the right candidates, it was about selecting those who would do the least damage. Irrespective of its notorious past (Bofors, Emergency etc.), the Congress this time was closer to the public's heart. Yeah, prices had risen, but they would have anyway. Yeah, there was recession, but it was handled superbly by the government. Although its allies kept threatening to destabilize it, the government stood firm on its ground. I'm talking about the Nuclear Deal. No, I don't know what it contained but if Manmohan Singh was ready to sacrifice his government for it, I would back it no matter what.

That's the whole point! Manmohan Singh may be one of the silent types but still he is a great leader. Leading by example. He does not ask anyone to obey his orders. He politely requests them on National TV to lend him their support. Better than Narendra Modi (or even LK Advani) who gain popularity by catering to the peoples' baser instincts...like xenophobia, religious discrimination etc.

These elections are not a victory for the Congress, they are a victory for democracy. Voter turnout was less. Those who did not vote should keep their mouths shut when the government makes any silly decision. After all, you had a choice, you made the wrong one. GTH!

Cheers to the Great Indian Democracy!

There's no government like no government! - Anonymous

India in Slow Motion

Sometimes fiction is nothing as compared to real life. Sometimes, a writer's words do not capture the true essence of his thoughts. Its during times like these that I switch to reading non-fiction. Mark Tully's book; India in slow motion; turned out to be the newest entrant to my book-shelf.

The book is dedicated to all those who are striving for the good of India. It sure mentions a few of them. Mark Tully himself has a great deal of love for this country. Sure, he may look and speak like any another foreigner, his sympathy for this country matches that of any contemporary patriot. Born in Calcutta (now Kolkata) and educated in England, Mark Tully was a correspondent for the BBC in South Asia for 25 years. In 2002, he was working as a journalist in New Delhi.

Tully mentions Gillian Wright; his partner in many of his escapades; as co-author. However, the book is written from his own perspective. A book about India! I felt a deep sense of pride as I first read the cover. However, the contents of the book did shake that pride a little.

In the book, India is presented through the eyes of an outsider. A stranger in a strange land. He dwells on the glory of India's heritage and swiftly moves on to the deplorable condition the country is in today. No, he does not focus on the poverty and the down-trodden like another famous foreigner (Danny Boyle, anyone!). He focuses on other serious issues, highlighting how this country hasn't been able to out of its colonial mindset. How red tape and bureaucracy (babudom) are still holding back the potential of the largest democracy in the world.

The purpose of "India in Slow Motion" was not to highlight the problems faced by this country. India is often depicted as a victim of forces too wild to be controlled - of post-colonial malaise, of religious strife, of the caste system, of a corrupt bureaucratic machine. The book argues that change is possible and solutions do exist. It looks at the people who are trying to bring about this change.

The book is in the form of short stories written in the first person. Mark Tully has personally interviewed quite a few soldiers of truth. There is Mathew Samuel - the journalist from Tehelka.com who exposed the corruption in arms procurement in the Defense services. Also, there is Aruna Roy - one of the major proponents of the Right to Information Act. She was the one who got Right to Information implemented in Rajasthan even when the RTI was just a bill in the Parliament.

"India in Slow Motion" securely grasps the essence of the enigma that is India. A Third World country that has all the ingredients to become a Superpower but is hindered by the enemy within. Even if you are not an Indian, this book provides very deep insight and may even force you to re-think any preconceived notions you may have about this country.

In everything he writes, Tully's sympathy for and knowledge of India shines through...He is, indeed, incomparable among foreign observers of that bewildering, maddening, utterly enchanting medley of peoples.
- Geoffrey Moorhouse, The Guardian

PS. Mark Tully did not pay me to write this review. But I do feel that any person who thinks of himself as an Indian should read the book.

The Evil that Men Do

The terror attacks in Mumbai. I don't have to go into details. Yes, I condemn the crime. Why bother about capturing all terrorists. Catch just one and kill 'em all. Simple.

I grew up in Chandigarh. The 1980's were troubled times in Punjab. I remember mom and dad talk about curfews without realizing what the commotion was all about. In or around 1992, a certain Beant Singh was assassinated. The fact that he was Chief Minister of Punjab is the reason I used the word "assassinated" instead of "murdered". I grew up not understanding why someone had to die for someone else to live in peace.

Osama Bin Laden did some marvellous prime-time action by taking the war back to the US of A. Why? I know the facts. But I don't understand the reason. Nor do I understand the reason why US thought it had any right to meddle in Afghanistan anyway. Why the hell did Dawood Ibrahim orchestrate the Mumbai blasts in '94? It couldn't have been religion. The bombs never discriminated against Hindus or Muslims. They just did their job; took away innocent lives. The tales of terror are endless. I don't feel the need to elaborate any.

Why does a man turn on his brothers? This so-called 'Jihad' everyone keeps talking about, do even know the meaning of the word? What can you achieve by killing people who haven't done anything to you? What is the purpose of this mindless bloodshed? Does killing actually resolve any issue? Can you quote a single example where shedding the blood of innocents is demanded by GOD?
You can leave your answers as comments, maybe if I forget to delete them, I might even read them.

On 26 November, India (not including Kashmir. No need to count it in India, let Pakistan have it. I don't bloody care!) faced the biggest terror attack in its history. At night, a few armed men arrived in Mumbai. They killed many civilians and officers before they were finally subdued. The death toll stands at 195 (currently. That's 1 more than Saeed Anwar's world record). Intelligence officials claim that the terrorists came from Karachi. I don't bloody care. They may be residents of Papua New Guinea for all I care. What I want to know is the reason why? What did these madmen set out to prove? How can people be so dumb. They are fooled so easily by the pretense of Jihad. Heck, If you want to organize a Jihad why don't to start a few missionary hospitals and orphanages.

A lot of lives were lost. There is a lot of difference between laying down your life for a cause and dying for nothing. The NSG commandos and armed forces along with the police officials made our country proud. True sons of the soil. But what about the 40 or so terrorists who wreaked havoc on the City of Dreams. What was their cause? They were scumbags before they attacked and they are still full of crap. I have spoken a lot more curses than I'm writing down. Why can't people just understand? L-e-T denied any responsibility for the attacks. And they can wash their hands off the matter. A terrorist is a terrorist. If you have a problem with the system, why don't you stand up? Heck, kill any corrupt politician but spare the innocents.
Its easy to break bricks with bare hands because bricks don't fight back. If these terrorists have any self-respect, accept my challenge.

Stop hiding in foreign countries. Come here, and fight like real men. Cowards! You require truckloads of ammunition to disturb one city. Why don't you try to fight mano-a-mano; man to man unarmed. These guerilla tactics only prove your impotence. May God (or Allah or whoever you worship) cast you into the burning fires of Hell (or Jahannum or Hades or simply stick you up in purgatory)!

And Raj SOB Thakeray, just keep your mouth shut for at least one week. The common man's really pissed off. Just hope that you don't get burned down by the fury surging through our souls!!!

Ram-Setu

One of the most hotly debated topics of our time is related to religion. This post was triggered by the recent developments of the Ram Setu bridge. For the uninitiated, here's a brief recap, starting thousands of years ago in the era known as Traita yug.

Traita yug (A very long time ago):
Ram, the eldest son of King Dashrath of Ayodhya, was forced into fourteen years exile by Queen Kaikeyi to clear the throne for her son, Bharat. Ram obeys his father and leaves Ayodhya accompanied by his wife, Sita and brother Lakshman. Ravan, Emperor of Lanka sets his sights on Sita and kidnaps her to make her his own mistress. Shri Ram then gathers an army of apes and monkeys (featuring Hanuman, Jambavan, Sugreev etc). To reach Lanka, they need to cross a vast body of water. A bridge is constructed using rocks inscribed with Ram's name. Ravan's army is no match for the good guys. Sita is rescued and Shri Ram returns to Ayodhya for his coronation. Happy Ending!


2007 AD:
Modern day India governed by a coalition government called UPA. Spearheaded by the humble Dr. Manmohan Singh, reforms are introduced which although increase the GDP to a staggering 11%, leave the common man crying for mercy. Inflation is at an all-time high and the government; being a coalition; is constantly under the threat of collapse. One fine day, a suggestion is made. The expenditure by ships travelling between the eastern and western coasts can be significantly reduced if the Palk Strait between India and Sri Lanka is opened up. And thus, the proverbial can of worms was opened.

The hindu fanatics could not believe their ears. What the heck was the government talking about? The Rameshwaram bridge was a remnant of a glorious past. A reminder of the victory of good over evil. A place of worship. And the government was proposing to tear it down. Sacrilege!!
A nation-wide campaign was launched to discredit the government. Amidst the hue and cry, the government came up with proofs. The satellite images and findings by the Archaeological Survey of India confirmed that the "bridge" was in fact a coral formation. It had existed for a long time before Ram; the re-incarnation of Lord Vishnu; descended on this planet. Besides, another thing that the government had to whisper: The Ramayana is mythology, not history. There is no proof that the Ramayana isn't something similar to what Dan Brown writes. Why whisper? Because there is nothing that ties a person to his fellows like religion. Religion is what faith is all about. It binds the people together like a thread and has the power to make them destroy anything that does not conform. This includes crusades (mindless violence/bloodshed) in the name of God.
As expected, the decision had to be stalled. A petition was filed in the Supreme Court aginst the government for blasphemy and sacrilege. And the issue was put on the back-burner.

23 July 2008: (Today)
The government wins a confidence motion and can rest till the next General Elections; which are not too far anyway. Today in the court, the defense put forward the argument that according to Camb Ramayana (popular in south India), the Ram Setu bridge was destroyed by Shri Ram after the battle was won.
The prosecution and all the news channels proclaim: "The Camb Ramayan states that the Ram Setu was broken. It does not mention that Shri Ram did it!"

I say: "You dumbasses who call yourself true believers, listen to this. If everything that happens is an act of God or happens by His/Her will, that means the Ram Setu being destroyed was also the will of God. So, no matter who actually destroyed it, It was Ram who broke that bridge.
I'm angry with these pseudo-fanatics. Get a life, morons. You always make mountains out of molehills. Rameshwaram has great temples too. If you really want to worship, worship nature. Protect the environment. Use eco-friendly cars for your Rath-Yatras and clean up the Holy Ganga while you are at it. And instead of constructing a temple at Ram Janm Bhoomi, Why don't you build a charitable hospital there?"

PS. I'm a Hindu!

President of the Republic

Pratibha Patil sworn in as first woman President of India. Ye, a reason to celebrate. Finally, a Lady President. Now, we can hold our heads high and say that there is no discrimination in our country on the basis of sex or religion. Our status in the eyes of other nations will increase manifold.

Yeah...right.
I had been following the papers closely about news about the Presidency once I came to know that Respected Sir APJ Abdul Kalam's tenure was drawing to an end. He was a people's President and I hoped that he would be back for another term. But that was not to be. His aloofness from politics; which had brought him closer to the public; also distanced him from the political parties.
The parties were looking for a candidate who, in his right mind, would never think of returning the "Office of Profit Bill" for reconsideration. They wanted a puppet. A figurehead who would meekly submit and obey their commands like a slave(Something like what Giani Zail Singh was to Mrs. Indira Gandhi).

Now, the current government is a coalition of parties with ideologies that are poles apart. Congress, Commies...unlikely allies.
The candidates backed by the Congress did not find favour with the Left. The Left wanted their own candidate in the country's highest office. The situation of Stalemate was threatening to break apart the government.
Then, in a fit of desperation, somebody mentioned Mrs. Pratibha Patil. The Left could not object to a woman candidate. They felt rejecting her would make them look like male masochist pigs. Having a woman President would also elevate their position in the eyes of the general public. So, the UPA nominated the Governor of Rajasthan as their choice for President. Many other parties backed the decision. And then....

Slowly, skeletons began to emerge out of Mrs. Patil's closet.

She was Governor of Rajasthan when Gujjars went on a rampage to be recognised as a minority. The Meenas; another caste in Rajasthan; took up arms against the rioting Gujjars. Vasundhara Raje, the Chief Minister of the state, did nothing. The Governor; Mrs. Patil; did nothing. The country stood on the verge of a Civil War, just because of their sheer inactivity. Thankfully, the situation was controlled before it threatened to rip apart the country.

Then, evidence was found that Mrs. Patil had used her position to influence goverment decisions. Discrete favours made to her family members were revealed. Her involvement in the working of a erratic CoOperative Bank was disclosed. Her family had no answers.

Slowly, it seemed that the decision to nominate Mrs. Patil would blow up in the face of the UPA. However, thanks to the easily delayed judicial system in our country, she contested the elections without any fear of going to jail.

More deserving candidates were left stranded. A mockery of democracy was made. A Governor turned into the President of the largest democracy in this world, ...not because of her qualities, but because she's a woman.
Who says being a woman in this country is a punishment??
After all, the only quality of Mrs. Patil, that made her President of this ancient nation, was her GENDER.


Jai Hind!