A long long time ago

Once upon a time in a land not so unfamiliar, there was a 19 year old computer engineering student who had no clue where his life was headed. He just happened to attend a meeting for volunteers for an upcoming event by a society. The organizers were asking for volunteers and he was wondering whether he should have gone to have lunch instead. After much hesitation, he raised his hand. The rest, as they say, is history. If you haven't heard this story, please wait for my autobiography to come out.

Most people have trouble believing the fact that I was the President of ISTE (Indian Society for Technical Education) in my college.

A lot of batchmates from my school are now my friends on Facebook. It's a different matter that the only time we write anything on each other's wall is to write birthday greetings. I talked to some of them and their initial reaction was "Are you the same person? The Anurag in our class was very quite and reserved. He never talked unless spoken to. And you... you are just the opposite" (quoted verbatim without permission).

So, what could have brought about this change? Just an astute observation: chicks dig confident guys. Being a person who likes to see things from the sidelines, I decided it was time to take matter into my own hands. Yes, it was hard. Whenever I was stuck in a rut, I would ask myself: What would Shahrukh Khan do?

Yeah. The last paragraph is not true. The actual event that changed my life happened just before the beginning of my third year of college. I had just completed summer training and was raring to get back to college as the average, ordinary joe. And then, $#!T happened...

For the sake of continuity, I've put a link to the earth-shattering event here.

And what is the puspose of this post. Simply put, I had forgotten why I behave the way I do. As doubts crept in, I had started to question my ethics (or whatever's left of them). After reading that entry, everything became clear.

Driven by Values

Update: Anurag is currently working in an international call center in Gurgaon. It is an inbound process (that means customers call him and not vice versa)

Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values - The motto had sealed where I wanted to go after college. But then, there was a gap of six months between the day that I left college and the day that I would join my dream company. So here I am, biding my time at a call center.

The BPO is technical support for an anti-virus company based in USA. The job profile - Technical Sales. Unsuspecting customers call in for three main reasons:

• Their software isn't activated.
• They want to get rid of the software.
• They want to know more about our products after hearing our advertisements on radio and television.

Did I mention it was a 'sales' job? we have to convince our patrons that their system needs more than just some software to optimize performance. What they need are Microsoft certified technicians who would take care of their system while they have peace of mind. And they need not look elsewhere because we provide technical support for their system dirt cheap. It was an exciting profile. As a matter of fact, I was able to crack my first sale on my very first call.

Now comes the grey area - We are fraudsters. The software when installed for the first time brings in a few viruses with it. So, viruses are found on the system even if there weren't any before our software was installed. and our software makes sure the user's system slows down to a crawl. The customer is left with no option except to get a Microsoft Certified technician to work on it. If we are convincing enough, they subscribe to our service and a technician rids their system of all problems. To add insult to injury, there's hardly any technician in our process who is Microsoft Certified.

Our trainer Ashish (amazing guy, really) told us this was our way of getting back at the US. In US, even a person who can't afford to have three square meals a day will have atleast one computer at his home. And there's hardly anyone who uses it for anything other than surfing the net, playing games or checking mails. So, we are simply teaching them a lesson by taking their money and solving minor issues.

It's really a fun job, hearing customers scream 'Oh My God' the moment I open the System Configuration Utility (Run: msconfig) and show them weird looking startup items. My training lasted all of 12 days before I started the OJT (On the Job Training). In the words of our trainer, this was because the floor was BLEEDING. There weren't enough sales people to pick up all the calls we were getting. Life was fun until...

One fine day (or night, depending upon the time-zone you are in) I got a call from a customer who had just purchased our product. He was having trouble removing viruses from his system. Piece of cake! This was the very last call in my shift. I thought I might as well take a remote session of his computer and show him exactly show it is done. The customer said I would have to wait some time before he would be able to do the needful for me to take remote assistance.

It was only when I tried to show the customer how the software worked that I realized he was completely blind - with Windows Vista OS on his machine. He was using a text-to-speech converter on his system and our software wasn't compatible with it. My heart went out to him, frightened at what damage our software may cause on his computer. I let him know it was better if he would ask for a refund and remove our software from his system.

It is one thing to fool a lazy bum who knows nothing except drinking beer or visit pornographic sites and another to take money from a physically challenged person who had not given up despite his disability. For the first time, I realized what we'd been doing was wrong. A fool and his money are soon parted, but you should not be the one responsible for the partition.

There had been another customer who said that we had installed our software on his system without his permission. He was quite irate and wanted the software uninstalled immediately. I tried to convince him that we had over 15 million customers worldwide and we did not indulge in such back-handed tactics. He said that if I actually believed in what I said I must be the only man with scruples in the software industry. he told me I could mention any of the big names in computers and he would tell me atleast a dozen malpractices they had participated in. We all remember Microsoft and Anti-trust, don't we?

I'll be leaving the company after two months (maybe earlier, only time will tell). I just hope Infosys is really driven by values. I can't have it any other way.

The Great Indian Bureaucracy

It’s almost incredible how we blame everything on the government. Somehow, every evil that resides in the heart of our country is because of the dirty politicians. Or is it?

Since time immemorial, we have found ways to put everything on the shoulders of the few in power. But what we have failed to realize is that maybe the Devil has been painted blacker than He actually is. The biggest problem ailing our country is not politics but the bureaucracy. The Devil is not black. He is red and taped to a file near you.

How many of us shudder at the thought of going to a government office? In other words, how many of us have delved into our phone-books for a name that will help us avoid a trip to the nearest bureaucratic headquarters? Remember the time when you bribed an official so that your file would be taken care of earlier than others? Or the time when you got an agent to get a registered driver's license so that you would not have to wait for endless hours in a serpentine queue? Maybe you’ll remember the latest incident when you jumped a red light and had to part ways with a five hundred rupee note that now rests in the shirt pocket of an alert traffic official.

But are they really to blame? If you have ever visited the inside of a government office you would feel surprised that they actually manage to get some work done. Files, folders and scraps of paper stacked together provide habitat to thousands of endangered species of insects. Cupboards provide shelter to adult pigeons and their families. It’s amazing the employees are actually able to locate certain files while misplacing thousands of others. No wonder they require certain incentive for working on any file, unsympathetically called "Bribe". This incentive is the only reason government officials disregard any concerns for their own safety and work for the uplift of the community.

Politicians hardly have any say in the matter. Quite a few of them are only concerned with filling their own pockets and so they let sleeping dogs lie. Some others, filled with a misplaced sense of patriotism and altruism, try to bring about “monumental" changes. Another minuscule number of politicians, satisfied that they have taken enough from the community, decide to give something back to the country. They propose reforms and changes, blissfully unaware that by the time their ideas begin to take a definite shape five years would have passed and their legacy would be buried in an inconspicuous file in a desolate government office. Many long-term thinkers realize the irony in working five years without any hope of re-election and then being blamed for inefficiency. So they peacefully pass their term in office, promising everything but achieving nothing. This saves them the trouble of unappreciated effort.

Bureaucrats are the real power-brokers in India. People at the centre change every five years, sometimes within 13 days, but bureaucrats persist. They do not pledge allegiance to a particular party but to the nation. But they are too pre-occupied with the malfunctioning red light atop their SUVs or getting their wards out of jail for shooting people in broad daylight. As a consequence, try as they might, they just can't spare any thought for the common man.

Frankly, I have grown too tired (and poor) by bribing every peon/clerk/registrar/policeman/misc I encounter. I humbly request the powers that be to have some pity on my plight and exempt me from paying this VAT called bribe. I would be greatly obliged. Please find a note of 500 rupees attached for all the trouble caused to you.

Yours truly

A Common Man

Weathered

I gave my last exam on June the 12th. This piece of worthless information is exactly what it proclaims to be - worthless. It’s almost two months and I'm still here. Sitting in the comforts of my home, doing absolutely nothing constructive and idling away my time.

I'm partially employed. I was placed in Infosys (my dream company! BTW, I don't find many companies in my dreams) on February 12th, 2008. I have been given a prospective joining date of February 8th, 2010 (which happens to be the birthday of someone in my family). Anyhow, the time seems to move with a very slow pace. Even pace seems to be the wrong word. Pace is supposed to denote Motion...but time goes by so slowly that it seems to be standing still.

I tried finding part-time jobs to utilize the 6 months. Unfortunately, the recession bug has opened up a new chapter in unemployment. There are plenty of jobs in BPOs and Call-centers. And the employers want qualified graduate candidates. My case is different, though. Since I did graduation in CSE (i.e. Engineering) I'm ineligible for the posts. They are willing to hire people less qualified/skilled than me who the recruiters believe will stay for a longer period than me. In other words, I'm over-qualified for the BPO industry!

This is awesome! For the first time in my life, I'm too good for something. I should feel proud. Being over-qualified should mean that I've been able to achieve more than the average working class hero. It also means that a fresher who joined the industry right after giving his +2 exams is working. And I'm not!

It’s kind of a bittersweet phase I'm going through right now. I just wanted to do something before joining Infy. I guess I would have to look for other options.

Yashaswi, my pen-pal from Hyderabad gave me a list of careers I could pursue. Most notable among them were:

• Paranormal Investigator
  
• Vampire slayer
  
• Radio Jockey
  
• A Mercenary
  
• Hired Assassin
  

Nitin Khanna suggested doing some technical course like SCJP/MCSE

Personally, I wanted to roam around India like Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild on Discovery Channel) or even try Free-Running.

Well, it’s not yet August so I have plenty of time to find something that suits me.

If you have any other creative ideas, do let me know.


PS. Why did I put up this post on my blog anyway? I plead Temporary Insanity.

Cyberia

I have started looking for ways to promote the blog without pleading to all my friends to visit it.

I found quite a few blog directories that index various blogs far out in the unchartered waters of cyberspace.
Here is a list of a few that I visited:

• Technorati
• Blog Search Engine
• Globe of Blogs

It was quite late that I realized that I needed to be the owner of domain or the blog should be self-hosted for it to be submitted to these search engines.

Another glorious mistake!

To err is human, to forgive divine - Anonymous

Iron(y) Man

For some unfathomable reasons, Google rejected my application for an ad-sense account for this blog. I want my blog to display relevant advertisements and thus help me earn some extra allowance. However, the people at Google think otherwise. What is the problem if an average ordinary guy wants to earn money by penning down his thoughts? ...that too without using any profanities or talking about pre-marital affairs. I'm sure Chetan Bhagat never had any problems for finding sponsors for his website. There's irony hidden in it somewhere but you'd rather find it for yourself.

Shifting our focus to international matters, Hillary Rodham Clinton praised India for acting maturely after the Mumbai Terror attacks. It was commendable that we did not take up arms and launch a full-fledged attack on Pakistan just because a few terrorists attacked our commercial centre. We should have praised US of A for also acting maturely and not launching military attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq just because a few terrorists crashed their planes on two tall buildings. Something tickled my irony bone (next to my funny bone) here, too!

In other news, Mrs. Rita Bahuguna Joshi came back home...or whatever was left of it. Mayawati's supporters (apparently) had burned her house down in an attempt to renovate it with gasoline. Mayawati claims Mrs. Joshi bad-mouthed the Dalits so she deserves to be punished under a SC/ST Law that bans any discrimination against the so-called backward classes. Mrs. Joshi has been booked under several non-bailable offenses besides the "inciting violence" infraction. She awaits trial, while those who literally brought down her house go scot-free. Mayawati said that she will make sure Mrs. Joshi is punished severely. No action has been (or, can be) taken against Maya Memsaab. Some idiots with a misplaced sense of patriotism will consider it greatly ironic. They will burn with anger at the mockery that is being made of the Indian judicial system. They will fire self-righteous remarks about ideologies and other such expletives. But...they will do NOTHING.

Why do you think Mayawati is the CM of UP? Why did the Liberhan Commission require Rs 8 Crores to tell us what the media was screaming for 16 years? Why do you think politicians are corrupt? What makes them think they can get away with murder? (I'm serious, quite a lot of them have). The answer to all of the above questions is THE COMMON MAN'S STUPIDITY.

Nobody dares to rise up against evil. Yeah, Gandhiji proposed non-violence but he never said that one should always grin and bear oppression. In fact, He did say, "It is a greater sin to be oppressed than to oppress." I'll translate it for you. He said that one should stand up for what is right. The scum of the Earth mock us because we let them. After all, since the advent of RTI (Right To Information), a lot of corrupt officials had to face the music (Jailhouse Rock, I believe).

The most obvious question in your mind, "What gives this jerk the right to tell us to do something? Why doesn't he get up and do something himself." Well, if you ever go to Mullana ask the final year students (that means my immediate junior batch) about Anurag Saxena. They may not have all good things to say but they will agree on one thing...the guy tried to bring about a change. And that's far better than complaining.

If you ever come up with a plan that will reform our country, count me in. I may not lead from the front but I guarantee you will have a loyal ally. Just come out of this ennui and think of something that will change this world...for the better. If you have problems thinking big, think simple...how to improve your locality (that does not mean shifting to a posh area). If you are ready to rebel, you'll always find me by your side. I hope you don't see irony here because none is intended.

Be the change you want to see in the world. - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Complicated

Have you noticed something. All my posts have very strange names: Love Bites, Gotta be somebody, Take a Bow, Disturbia, Turn the Page...notice a pattern? Some sort of a hidden symbol? What is it?

Love Bites

Love. One word with a thousand definitions. A word that is present in every culture, every civilization and every heart. So, it should be easy to define it. But unfortunately that is not so. The fact is, love is the most complicated implication of Life. Booorrrriiiinnnnggg! Why the heck am I rambling about something everybody knows?

Maybe because I'm fascinated by it. Not by being in love but by the concept itself. An emotion that forces people to make as many irrational decisions as possible before they come back to their senses and realize the folly of their ways. Anybody who has ever been in love knows what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unnecessary sleepless nights, the endless chats, the countless SMSes and never-ending conversations. Boy, don't they feel good.

And then... I've seen people grow out of their love. It's as if the love went its own way and left two wandering souls behind. Unfortunately, nobody realizes what happens. People are emotional fools. They are so dominated by their emotions that they don't realize when their thoughts change with their moods. I would love to name the person who left me in the lurch (see: Love Story and Love Story II) but of course, I won't. Its simply becuse I learnt so much from my own stupidity. I would love to thank her someday for lifting the veil of illusion in front of my eyes. It helped me a lot in understanding human psychology in a better light. After all, I'd been there, done that...I knew what it felt to have loved...and lost.

People are idiots. The Great Scott Adams has a great insight on the fact. According to him, every person on this planet is a moron everyday for atleast 5 minutes. And there are no exceptions. I have studied a lot of characters and know for a fact that the theory is true. If someone says that he did nothing stupid in the last hours, he probably did nothing at all. Which itself is quite stupid, wasting time just to prove a theory wrong. In case you are wondering who Scott Adams is, he is the creator of Dilbert. In case you are wondering who Dilbert is, you probably are not associated with life in cubicles.

Coming back to the topic, I think I should elaborate the connection between love and stupidity. Love is all about two way communication. Unless there is response from the other side, the relation is bound to fail. For the average layman, If the girl isn't interested in you, there is no force on the planet that can make her fall in love with you. Its that simple. In college, I never had a girl-friend. Okay, there was a silly love story but that was too pathetic to mention. Its not as if I was shunned by girls. I just did not have the time or money. I used to get sideways glances, slight facial gestures of recognition...those tiny signals that girls give out. You just have to pay attention to the details...like when a girl says "I'm fine" means that she is boiling with rage inside. It all in the details. Anyways, I could easily pick up the signals. No problem. Here is where stupidity comes in. A girl used to give me such signals, I could read it in her eyes. The thing was, I was too glad to have someone swooning over me. So glad that I ignored them. There would be plenty of time later. Later turned out to be eternity. She moved on. Thanks to my own stupidity, I missed out on Ms. Right. Lets just say she is no longer interested in me. I don't know whether she has found someone else.

The sad part is the guilt. I never got a chance to say that I loved her as well. Well, I did say it. But it was so late that no self respecting lady would have accepted. So, she did the obvious. Gave me the "Just Friends" routine. I think that she wanted to give me another chance but I did not deserve it.

So, I'm stuck with what could have been. I'll not say whether this girl was the same as the one in my previous love story entries. Better to create confusion in the minds of the readers (if any).

In any case, I came to realize something. Love stories are more beautiful if they have a sad ending. I don't know why, maybe its because humans are a sadist race (just look at the violence in everyone's favourite Tom and Jerry) or maybe because we love pain and cruelty. Yes, I said the same thing in two different ways. After all, take the best love stories our generation grew up on:
Romeo & Juliet
Laila & Majnu
Heer & Ranjha
etc etc etc

I guess we enjoy the pain. I just don't understand why.

The most romantic fantasies are the ones that remain unfulfilled. - Anurag

(If you happen to read this post, please do leave a comment. I would love to know what you think, even if its quite opposite of what I believe)

Gotta Be Somebody

What are we but some of our experiences - Anonymous

Who is this Anurag anyway?

During school, Anurag was regarded as a dark horse. He was someone who would not give up even when all the chips were down.
He is attracted to mystery. Any puzzles/problems given to him would surely be solved, even if it means endless hours of effort.

Some of his friends regard him as an Encyclopedia. His unquenchable thirst for knowledge has helped him learn a little about everything. He is always ready to help anyone who approaches him.

Recently, Anurag was the President of ISTE, Student Chapter in his college. ISTE is responsible for organizing events like aptitude tests, group discussions etc. which are aimed at the overall development of the students. President means a bloated ego, right? Wrong!

Anurag would rather be 'near' the proverbial spotlight than be in it. There's an adventurous side to him too. He'd like to grow old without having any regrets about things he could've done. He'd rather do them!

Ethics and principles are very important to him. Although he doesn't sow it, he cares a lot about honesty and scruples. Conscience is a small voice in your head that says, "Dude, we could get caught. Better not do it." That puny voice utilizes a million amplifiers in his head. So, he stays away from things that might pluck at his conscience.

In case you thought that this character sketch was a wee bit... sketchy, here's a list of adjectives that Anurag thinks apply to him:

Audacious, amiable, bold, caring, calm, daring, friendly, frank, inquisitive, methodical, polite, sincere and understanding.

Note: The list is by no means exhaustive!

Also, he likes to boast a lot. He can sing his own praises day in and day out. Yet, he feels embarrassed if someone else appreciates his talent. Why? There is probably a screw loose somewhere in the enigmatic machine that is his brain.

(This article is written in the third person. I apologize, but I felt it easier to describe myself as seen from the eyes of a third party.)

Take a Bow

I never thought I'd be writing this post. But now, the end is near.

In the week 27th April - 1st May, I organized SYNERGY 2K9. The name was given to the otherwise boorish sounding ISTE WEEK last year. President Aashish Aggarwal and VP Anurag Saxena had come up with a unique name for a mini tech-fest consisting of five events in a span of three days. Mr. Kapil Goyal, a notorious teacher from the Mechanical Department had said it was impossible. "In your face, KKG!" was our triumphant response at the end of three days.

Fast forward to 2009. I had already proved myself with ISTE WEEK (See: Tears in Heaven). The name Synergy was going to become a fixture every year. Planning was in full flow. And then it hit me. My last contribution to college. My last hurrah! After dedicating three years of my life to ISTE, it was finally time to say goodbye. I felt heavy. No more events, just spend some time peacefully as a regular, ordinary student. But the path chosen 3 years ago did not let me return to mediocrity. SYNERGY 2K9 was destined to happen.

This time around, all technical events. The list:

• Tech Yard


• Web Hunt 2.0


• Bravado - The Corporate Quiz


• Bit Fighters


• Gladiator's Arena

We had an event from every discipline. From Mechanical to Computers. But something was missing. Electronics! There could be no robot making or circuit designing because frankly, ISTE in our college is a cash-strapped society. Our budget did not allow us the luxury of thinking about ICs or bread boards. We all were confused. And then- There was Light!

Tech-Chat was the answer to our prayers. Something that was loved by all...students as well as teachers. All applications duly signed and approved, all material bought. And so began the last dance.

The week preceding the events, I had gone to Ambala to place the order for the prizes. Nothing can be more embarrassing than selecting the trophy you are going to be presented with at the valedictory ceremony. I blushed but placed the order anyway.

In the prize distribution ceremony, I was where I had always wanted to be - on stage as an anchor. One last time!

May 1st 2009, 1545 IST: It was finally over. The name of the new President had been announced. Now was the time to be alone. ISTE had been my everything in college. I ran a lot less behind girls than I ran for events and meetings. It was fun, no doubt!

ISTE helped me salvage some pride. In a desolate middle-of-nowhere college run by a capricious management, it had given me hope. I used to think joining MMEC, Mullana had been the biggest mistake of my life. It wasn't. Whatever work I did, it benefitted me and my fellow students. I came in contact with talented individuals who were all ready to bring about a change in college.

The winds of change are blowing harder than ever. I just hope that the foundations of the college do not crumble under the pressure.

And now, I'm gone! In July, a new batch of students will arrive. And I'll be just a memory...fading away into ignominy.

Goodbye ISTE, it was worth every moment!

Be the Change you to see in the world. - MK Gandhi

The Quest

In college, one of the things i discovered were WebHunts. These were tidy little sites which could fry anyone's brains.
The simplest was:
www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html

Once I was addicted, there was no looking back. I solved Klueless, Notpr()n and a lot of the like. The concept is simple, get to the next page by solving the clue given on the current page. Sounds easy, right. It isn't!
And then, I had one of those bizzare ideas. Why don't I create a WebHunt of my own?
ISTE's Synergy 2K8 proved the perfect platform for its launch. I don't know if it will be available anymore, but here's the link:

http://return.of.moriarty.googlepages.com

I got a lot of positive criticism (Why diidn't you make one earlier? was the most common question).
Fast forward to February 2009... Planning for the eagerly awaited Synergy 2K9 had started. And another WebHunt was forming in my mind.
Voila, WebHunt 2.0 was launched:

http://istemullana.googlepages.com/webhunt

GooglePages is going to migrate soon to Google Sites. And probably the WebHunt will be destroyed.
But, it was fun while it lasted!!
You can try the WebHunts whenever you like, and if you really get stuck...you know where to find me.

Epoch

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.

H. W. Longfellow

The following events took place between 12^th Feb 2008 and 12^th Feb, 2009

February '08

• Infosys recruitment drive at MMEC, Mullana. I got selected by my dream company. How? Check this out.
• Immediately after the selection, I head off to Lucknow for my cousin's marriage.
• Within one week of the placement drive, "Trojans" was born. Nishant and I founded the society for the students of computers department.

March '08

• Literati '08 held at NIT Kurukshetra. One event Junkyard Wars caught my fancy. It would not be until November that I would be able to realize my dream. Read my exploits by clicking here.
• My love story took a nosedive. Read about it here.

April '08

• ISTE organized Synergy - 2K8. Five events in the space of three days. Encoding, Paper presentation, quiz, Big Fight and Webhunt. I paid my tribute to those crazy, whacky net puzzles like Klueless with my own Webhunt. Click here for details.
• Won first prize in Trojan Hunt, Nishant's rendition of NIT's webhunt. I would not have participated if it had not felt like a challenge from him to me. He's good! He managed to bag second in my WebHunt. Quite a few eyebrows were raised but both of us knew the truth. We had not cheated. Our consciences were clear and that's what mattered the most.

May '08

• A major fiasco - the closing ceremony of Trojans. Somehow, the show fell to pieces. Oh well, the less the said the better.
• ISTE's end of the year party at our favourite dhaba. I raised a toast to four very special seniors; Aashish Aggarwal, Varun Soni, Vikas Goyal and Sandeep Dhiman. If it had not been for them, I would still be just an unknown face in the crowd at MMEC.

June '08

• The semester papers started after preparatory holidays that lasted for almost a month. Life was hell in the scorching summer.

July '08

• I took my tiffin-box of a PC to Chandigarh and got it upgraded. Wrote as many articles as possible for my blog. No, I'm not going to place links to all of them. If you are interested, look them up in my blog.
  
• My love story found a new chapter. Unfortunately, the sequel had an even more agonizing ending. Damn!

August '08

• Found my lost groove with the help and support of a great friend, Prashant Diggi. Playing Pro Evolution Soccer 6 at his home brought back my touch on the real ground. I have no explanations for it. Playing football on the PC improved my game on the ground too. Magic!

September '08

• My final year at MMEC begins. ISTE has a new President. And all hell breaks loose.
• Abhivyakti-2008, our college fest taught me a valuable lesson. Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. Every night during the fest was like an audition straight out of Roadies.

October '08

• Symptoms of imbecility were being shown by the President of ISTE. I was confused, nervous and unsure.
• Infosys Campus Connect (Soft Skills training) was held in our college. Fortunately, it managed to bring me back from the dead.

November '08

• ISTE Week was organized and we went where no MMECian had gone before. Six events in the span of 4 days. The events themselves had never been conducted in our college before. Reverse coding, Half-A-Minute, Turncoat, Youth Parliament, Big Fight and my favourite: Techyard. The mini fest got rave reviews and woke up the college management. And I had regained my confidence. The details are all placed here.

December '08

• Exam time again! 9 more papers and I would earn the title of Engineer.
• Presentation - the only thing I contributed to my team's minor project. Heck, I had been too busy pondering over what I could do that I actually did nothing. Embarrassing; but I had learnt another lesson.

January '09

• Watched 'Slumdog Millionaire'. I just can't understand these self-professed protectors of Indian culture. Great Indian Hypocrisy! My sister has already copyrighted the title so I can't write anything else about it (Do I even need to?). I'll place the link to her blog as soon as she publishes it.

February '09

• The Final Frontier! Last semester at Mullana. I've written a lot about my college. Check out the stuff here and here. Love it or hate it, its my college anyway!
  
• Infosys; after a gap of exactly 365 days; sent us our joining letters. Its official, I'm an Infoscion! Absolute bliss!

The preceding events happened between 12th Feb, 2008 (The date I was selected by Infosys) and 11^th Feb, 2009 (the date I got my offer-cum-joining letter)

Turn the Page

It was a fine Tuesday evening. Masterji was returning home from school. He teaches in the government school in a nearby village. The school happens to be the only one in the district. As he walked down the battered road, he let his mind to dwell upon the day's happenings. Today, Charan was absent. His father was lying drunk in the middle of the road last night when a truck ran over him. Preeti too would not be able to attend classes. Her parents had strong objections to sending their girl to school. Masterji would have to stop by their house tonight and try to convince them...again. His class consists of ten students. He can't let ignorance block the path to knowledge.

Masterji was engrossed in his musings when something caught his eye. A hundred rupee note was lying on the ground.

Masterji teaches Moral Science at the government school. He also teaches Hindi, Maths and Science along with anything that he feels will help the students. Masterji had now stopped beside the hundred rupee note. A look around told him that nobody was watching.

Masterji is a religious person. He spends thirty minutes in silent meditation and prayer every morning. Also, he is very dedicated and sincere towards his job. Many teachers had refused to work at his present position. A lot of them had pulled even greater number of strings to get transfers to someplace more urbane. However, Masterji had stayed behind. He wanted to help in his country's progress. "The real India is in the villages", he vaguely remembered the quote.

Masterji owns a bicycle. However, he likes walking the five kilometres to school. Today, A hundred rupee note was lying right in front of him. He could make out a few people standing quite some distance away. What should he do? He had been standing and thinking for over fifteen minutes now.

Masterji stooped. With an elegant stretch of the limbs, the note was in his pocket. Nobody saw him. Masterji walked on to his home.

It is true that Masterji teaches Moral Science at a government school. It is also true that he is the ONLY teacher at the government school. It is also true that he hasn't received his salary for the past six months.

Only the educated are free. - Epitectus

(Inspired from a short story that I had read somewhere a very very long time ago. I don't remember the name of the original author. In fact, I only remember the gist of the story. This is my adapted version of the Hindi original. This line issued in the spirit of GNU. Give credit where it is due.)

Love Story II

Friendship is a word used by boys to start a relationship with a girl. Alas, its the same word used by a girl to end a relationship with a boy.

Can you be so close to a person that the person feels that if you come any closer, it might jeopardize your relationship? No, I don't care about what your answer might be because in my case it was a resounding YES.

The thing still feels like a bad dream. I can't believe that a girl could say something of the sort that she said to me. There was only one girl whom I truly loved. Its true that I ogle at hundreds of pretty girls, flirt with dozens but at the end of the day, I know that there's only one girl in this world without whom my life is meaningless. And that's her!

We have been friends for like ages. I guess that's the root of my problem. We were talking about our future together when she spoke her heart out. She said (not in her own words), "We are like best friends. At least I consider you my best friend. And I'm afraid that if we make a commitment, we might fall out and distances between us would tear us apart. In short, I'm too afraid of commitments and I don't want to lose you.!" And guess what, I know that she was telling the truth (A direct hit right below the belt!).

So, she stuck to the cliched "Just friends" because she did not want to lose me. Oh bother! No wonder I have such a low opinion of women. Not in a bad way, in case you misunderstand me. To me, it seems that girls and boys are tuned to entirely different frequencies. Neither can understand the other. Sometimes, this simple fact pushes me over the edge. Why can't I make her understand...understand that I'll be there for her...I want to be there for her forever...that I love her.

Anyways, it doesn't matter now. I've finally accepted defeat. So, we are now "just friends". She wanted us to be "just friends", "just friends" is how we will stay. I guess that my search for that special someone never did end. Damn, I was ready to spend an eternity with her! But she wasn't.

Oh well, maybe now I have to find my soul-mate. Or hope that she finds me. Those mushy Mills and Boons love stories have started giving me the creeps. I pray that the concept of soulmates is not simply a figment of someone's imagination. Or I'm screwed, bigtime.

Anyways, this is to certify that I, Anurag Saxena, will not resume my search for a soulmate (at least not until I complete my degree). My soulmate would have to make all the efforts to find me herself. Too bad!


Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - Anonymous

Tears in Heaven

Oh crap! Another entry about ISTE. But what can I say? I'm the President, this is my blog and my country's constitution currently grants me the freedom of speech.

This story begins about six months ago in one of our government engineering colleges, NIT Kurukshetra. A technical fest called Literati - 08 was being organized there. Sure as hell, a team from Mullana was there. Our team consisted of about nine students from Computers branch. On Saturday, there was an event called Junkyard Wars. The participating teams had to build a rocket out of scrap. The concept involved was very simple. A 2-litre PET bottle was to become the projectile. We had to build a launcher out of cardboard and plywood. Lots of duct tape was provided along with saws and hammers. The mode of propulsion was hydraulic pressure. The bottle's cap was replaced by a cork fitted with a valve. Once air was pumped into the bottle, it was only a matter of time before the cork popped out of the bottle and the bottle was on its way. Our team managed a measly 59 feet as horizontal range (The winning team got 106 feet!).



The one doing all the explaining is me. And the person pumping the air is NISHANT.

Anyhow, its quite painful to see big events being conducted in other colleges while MMEC is stuck up with Group Discussions as a mega event. I always wanted to do something that would leave a mark. Something that could give me the satisfaction that I contributed towards the upliftment of my fellow MMECians. And I found my quantum of solace in Tech-Yard.

My stint as President had been marred by arguments and controversies. 'The laziest President ever' was the most polite tag I came across. So, I decided to show the nay-sayers that I was a force not to be underestimated. Three weeks before the semester ended, a bunch of events were organized. The bundle of events was to last for one working week and was imaginatively titled "ISTE Week".

All the executive members were assigned roles as event coordinators for various events. The previous best for maximum number of events (Non-Fest) was five (in Synergy - 2K8). The record went one notch higher with ISTE Week's grand total of six. There was only one event that I was interested in organizing. That was something based on "Junkyard Wars". Now, easy as it may sound, creating a junkyard requires a lot of effort. I had to think of the different things that had to be provided to all students. N. K. Batra, the faculty advisor of ISTE and HOD of Mechanical Department was quite dazed when I told him about my intentions. He is a very nice & cool person and gave his full support. However, he was quite apprehensive about the success of the project. Anyhow, I began collecting the required materials for building the rockets and the launcher. Heck, the fact that most of the stuff we needed was supposed to be junk, we had to shell out a lot of dough (over a thousand bucks!!!).

The work that I did can be summed up in a few bullet points. However, bullet points do not convey the toil and the hard work that we did.

• I had to got to various eating joints (canteen, Indian Kitchen etc.) to collect the PET bottles.
• To get plywood (6 mm thick 2'X 2'), I had to make rounds of Mechanical department, Store (near Hostel No. 3), Diploma block and Accounts branch (about 1 km from rest of the college) on foot.
• For hammers and saws, recursion was applied between ME department, Diploma Block and first year engineering block.
• A trip to Ambala (25 kms away) was imminent, considering the fact that there is a Science street in Sadar Bazaar there. We found duct tapes, corks and most importantly, corks.
• In all, thousands of kilometers on foot (I can exaggerate a little, can't I?) were travelled by me.

On D-Day, (20 November 2008) the event started off right on time, materials were provided in the right amount (except for hammers and saws). Pumps for the final judgment were arranged from God-knows-where by good old Nishant. Heck, Nishant is a great friend and fellow Infoscion. He deserves an entire blog dedicated to him. Anyways, the event was a huge success. Mr. Batra brought teachers from Mechanical Department to show them a whole new perspective.

The students enjoyed to the fullest and learnt something basic to engineering (Newton's Third Law of Motion) practically. Students came and told me how much they enjoyed the event. Seriously, I wept. Not in front of everyone, thankfully. I had achieved what I had set out to do against all odds. For once, I could say that I had given back to this world for all that I had taken. For once, I could afford to be proud of myself. Ahh, the sweet smell of success!

To have and to want more that is life. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Dilemma

Here's something from the archives. This poem was composed when I was in eighth. If you think that you have read these lines somewhere before, you're right. This poem derived heavily from the poems in our English syllabus. Stopping by the woods on a winter evening - Robert Frost, The Muddlehead - ?, some other poems were all parodied.

‘It was a dark, stormy night.
Sitting near the fireplace provided great delight.’

So began the poem of mine,
About a boy who was nine

The poem was a compulsion, not a hobby
For a competition on creative poetry

I had a writer’s block; I knew not what to write
One can easily imagine the horror of my plight.
I could turn to no one for advice,
My condition; it seemed; was worse than mice.

I tried writing a poem full of humour
But it seemed to move from dumb to dumber.
Writing horror was my next try,
But it could only make the critics cry.

I circed the circ and looped the loop;
But what I wrote was just like soup.
All muddled, it had no head or tail,
In writing a poem, I did miserably fail

I have decided to write a poem
On the dilemma I was in
Thankfully this time it was not thrown
Into the garbage bin

On the first prize is my sight,
So I am writing this poem
So late into the night

The bed is cozy, warm and neat,
But I have homework to complete,

And a poem to write before I sleep
And a poem to write before I sleep

Love Story

The letter he got:

Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?
Jill



The letter she sent:

Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jill

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Love! We've all felt it, atleast once in a lifetime. I'm not talking about brotherly love or philanthropy. Its the love that lasts a lifetime.
Some romeos say that its not their fault. They claim that Cupid shot them with a machine gun, a triple-barreled hydraulic-action scatter cannon to be precise. Everyday is Valentine's Day for them. Once upon a time, I was one of them. Can't say I was happier then.Everyday was a new crush, daily flirting: Innocent and happy.

And then, one fine day, disaster struck. I met a girl who was unlike the rest. Friends say she was nothing out of the ordinary. But somehow, she left my heart aflutter. Like an angel descended from heavens,she walked into my life. Cupid had used a bazooka this time. I talked to her and got to know that she harboured the same feelings for me.

Life was Beautiful! We talked to each other daily.Our endless discussions covered everything from politics to science tests in tuitions. It seemed our love will last forever. If there was anything I wouldn't do for her...I wasn't aware of it! I could give my left arm just to see her smile.

Two years passed, I'm in college now. Another engineer in the vast pool of educated unemployed. I'm placed in a reputed company but that's another story. She's a medical student, doing her MBBS trying to rid the world of Cancer, AIDS and what not. Our lives have become too separate. I have my friends in college, she has her own. We hardly have time for each other now. At the time of writing, its been one month since I talked to her face-to-face.

Her smile doesn't fascinate me anymore. These two years have changed us a lot. They say, Distance makes the heart grow fonder. In our case, distance made the hearts go wander. Little threads of complacency have turned into a spider's web and bound us tightly. We can't even call each other acquaintances now. I love her but there's no joy when I hear her voice. I used to spend sleepless nights thinking about her and now her number is no longer on my phonebook.

I knew that the spark in our relationship had died/ burned/ fizzled out. But I did not try to revive it, I do not why. It was as if it had been just a dream. I was dragging along a remnant of the past. A past that had to be forgotten.

She gave me a bitter reminder of the fact when she dumped me. It couldn't exactly be called a dumping, just a long pending formal announcement of a fact. The distance between us had become unsurmountable. She said,"I want to focus on my career." One thing I always liked about her was her ambition. With the words "Don't talk about something that no longer exists", it was back to reality. Obviously, she meant our relationship. The words were true and yet they pinch me everytime I close my eyes. It was my own fault. There was so much I could've done. I've lost something valuable. For good.

The greatest journey is the distance between two people. In my case, the journey was over even before it began. My mistake, I guess I have to live with it. I'm still a hopeless romantic. But that's what I am: hopeless; in the matters of the heart. Everytime I think about a girl, I remember what a lousy boyfriend I was. I dread falling in love again. After all, starting a relationship is easy. Keeping it alive so that it can stand the test of time, that's hard.

(I've been reading a lot of Chetan Bhagat recently. Here's a small love-story about a lazy dolt in first-person. Form whatever opinions you may about the lead character. The lead character is based on a real-life person. You can leave your opinions in the comments section.)

Wind of Change

I've been bashing my college for quite sometime now. I hope someone from the idiotic management will actually understand the need to bring in some drastic changes. This is the story of a very tiny idea that signalled a wind of change.

Introduction:
Well, I've been to quite a few reputed colleges to take part in their fests. The list includes PEC Chandigarh, NIT Kurukshetra and IIT Roorkee. And I have seen the differences between the students there and in our college. The need of the hour is to bring our college at par with the rest. So begins an experiment...

Description:
Almost all brainiacs I know have tried KlueLESS. If you are a brainiac and don't know what I'm talking about, Google for Klueless. You'll find a link that goes something like www.iimi-iris.com/irising/...etc. Its a real test of general awareness and mental ability. People have appreciated the effort. However, in my college its absurdity mortified. Students can't tell the difference between Ray-Ban and Fast-Track. Implementing something of the sort in my college would be a waste of time.

Preparation:
I was too impressed by the idea so couldn't give up that easy. And the idea turned into a pet project. A small timeline is provided for the benefit of people who want to make one on their own too.

Brainstorming/Thinking up questions/site layout : 2 months.
Collecting data/Photoshop imaging : 2 weeks.
Uploading content/Formatting pages : 2 days!

And the site was ready to go!
Now, the tough part! Convincing the President of ISTE that its a hip event requiring ZERO manpower during execution was easy. Convincing the rest of the college was the real challenge.

Observation:
In my college nobody knew what was going on, as expected. I had to make myself extremely approachable so that the students could atleast try to solve it. Word-of-mouth publicity was done by all organizers and event managers in the college. Even my phone number wass replicated on the site at atlest two places to make the contenders feel comfortable. Even the level of difficulty was reduced to almost 0. Besides, the time limit was changed to a staggering 56 hours. Praying for glory, I left it all to fate.

Discussion:
Occasionally, diamonds are found in coal mines. Unbelievably, my site was solved by a student of MMEC, Shaurya, in 8 hours (The fact that we are friends is not concealed from anyone in college. And the transparency applied made the decision irrefutable). In all 7 students solved the site. And plenty more discovered googlepages. So we have 5 inspired sites competing with each other for glory. A lot more sites on different themes have come up on googlepages courtesy of Mullana students. So everyone learnt something useful while doing something creative.

Result:
Mission Accomplished. End of Paleolithic Age and beginning of Neolithic Age. There IS intelligent life on this isolated planet called Mullana.

External Links:

For beginners: I have to thank my good friend NITIN KHANNA for this.
www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html

KlueLESS: use Google to search the term. Link looks somewhat like
www.iimi-iris.com/iris...game.asp

Return of Moriarty: My own creation.
http://return.of.moriarty.googlepages.com

Head Held High

Okay. This one's about coming to terms with my college. Frankly, everything I write in this blog is true (atleast everything about myself and my college). For those of you who think I did not write the truth, start your own blog. My perspective may differ from yours. Write your side of the story if you want to.

My college is one among the several engineering institutes located in desolate villages that are non-existent on Google Earth. Unbelievably, Google Earth shows only a barren area where our college should be located. I must admit, "Don't see Evil" acquires a whole new dimension!

Anyways, being admitted to the middle-of-nowhere wasn't that bad. As a matter of fact, as much as I hate the place, there was no competition for me. The undisputed leader of the unled. I was King!

Studies are something for which our college is famous. Because of the simple fact that there is nothing else. Sports? The college is meant for Narayan Murthys, not the Bhaichung Bhutias! Girls are reprimanded for wearing tops and jeans (salwar Kameez is the way to go). Boys are suspended if found in the company of any member of the opposite sex. Or if they are discovered in the hostel during college timings. Girls staying in the hostel have to be inside the hostel premises within half an hour of college getting over (Mr Dahiya, how can we ever repay you?). At around 5:30 pm local time, the Girls hostel is Curfew Zone. And if that wasn't enough, the college is located in the scenic surroundings of dung-ridden farms and fields. As a result, the guards do not discriminate much between cattle and students.

Having an above-average IQ turned out to be a bane for me (Yes! Its true! ABOVE average). All my talks seemed to fall on fall on deaf ears. First year was depressing enough. Second year began to eat away at my skills. My talent was rotting in an institute of the pre-cambrian era. Then one fine even semester, I became the organizing member of an event. ISTE, the name is enough. Find the details HERE. The entire third year was dedicated to the society. I even took a PG accommodation near my college because of it. One year after I had organized my first event, I was made Vice-President. The sad part is though, I wasn't made VP because of my skills but because I had no competition.

The sixth semester is about to come to an end. It is certain who the President will be next year. Oh well!

Then comes the story of my department. Computer engineering students are not just good at studies, they are all-rounders. However, to bring about a change, you have to be the change. Every year, 100 bucks were collected from all students in the name of our society. The catch: There was No such society. So I got down to formulate a plan for making the computers department society. And TROJANS was born. Due to the immense effort of a great friend and fellow Infoscion; Nishant; a dream was realized. The Head of the Department was impressed. And I learnt a new lesson.

There are good people and bad people. People who work and those who can make others work. Just put others before self and you'll end up going lower than any self-respecting man has gone before. And finally, I found meaning in my college life. I was meant to change the course of history. Bring the college from the pre-historic times into the modern age.

And I'm happy to be here,
In the middle of nowhere!

Writer's Block

It was a dark and stormy night. Rahul was asleep in his bed. When suddenly, the door sprung open. He was not alone! By the time Rahul realized what was happening it was already too late.

Do you want to read any further? I won't blame you if the answer is a resounding NO. The fact is, its a piece of literature that would put VS Naipaul (of Nobel fame) to shame. Sometimes, doing something you like turns out to be the most difficult task to perform. Let me illustrate with an example. I love writing! On anything and everything under the Sun. There's no one stopping me and yet I can't think of any mind-boggling Earth-shaking ideas like weasels wearing cardboard shirts. Scientists call it the Writer's Block. A peculiar condition with an unimaginative name. They might as well have called it Noideaswhatsoeverinmind.(On second thoughts, Writer's Block is easier to remember)

A month ago, a good friend of mine asked me whether I would like to contribute articles to a magazine he was starting. Sure! No problem, my pleasure. Heck, I may be studying engineering but I'm a journo at heart!
And so promises were made.

Its been ages since the offer and I still don't have any good ideas forming in my mind. My poor dear friend has run out of adjectives that are cursive in nature. (Note: Cursive means what I want it to mean)
So finally, I'm writing about a Writer's Block, that too my own. Which brings us to
Word of the Day: OXYMORON!!!

In case you are one of those people who are too lazy to flip the pages of a dictionary, an oxymoron is a straightforward statement using contradictory words to lay emphasis on the object. For example, a little too much, true lies etc.

PS. Hey Vishv, sorry to have kept you waiting for so long. Once I have something to write about, you'll be the first to know.